(Friday) We see the past through rose tinted spectacles so

Urgh. I've got something wrong with my left ear. Because I'm a bloke it's not possible to go to the Doctors and sort this out instead I've got to work things out myself. I go to Boots The Chemist and look for something called "Otex" which has a great advert where the wax in your ears literally gets beaten up! Brilliant. Exactly the sort of thing I've got planned for any wax that might be hanging out and having fun in my ear.

Tsk, there's a big bloody queue of people at the counter. That's no good. I'm a busy man. Deal or No Deal is on in a bit and I am as addicted to it as a Chef is to cocaine*.

There's a security guard, looks a bit fat and stupid and bored. Bet he knows where the Otex is. I'll ask him. "Yeah mate, if you go and ask that the counter" comes his reply. Yeah, right. Like I'm going to join that massive queue. Little ar#e in a suit. He should learn where these products are kept rather than pretend he's doing security work. I'll ask that woman stacking shelves over there. She'll know.

"Otex? Not really my department luv. I think you'll have to ask at the counter for something like that". Wtht huc faek? What is wrong with these people? Do none of them know where something as common as Otex is? It's got a TV advert where it beats up ear wax. It's practically a celebrity. Nse cheeob!

I'm annoyed now. I really am. I used to work in Boots and I was a lot more helpful than these bunch of #uck nuts. Sod it. I'll queue up with these lot and ask the people who work behind the counter where it is. Then I'll go get it and queue up AGAIN!

Oh, there it is. Behind the counter. You have to ask for it. Ruined.

NM

This bit of my website concerns my battle with athlete's foot. It's a bit I will soon no longer write as I'm certainly really actually going to the doctors to sort my ear out. Really honestly. Got to go.

*According to Jamie Oliver's recent exciting claims . About other chef's of course. Jamie was once offered coke but he blew it into the toilet. Shame I'd have like to have seen him as a drug addict, see his nose fall out and watch his loveable cockney nonsense descend into something less sinister. It'd be kind of funny. To me.

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