Stop Richard Herring from stopping.

I'm walking to Morrisons to get a diary (oh yes, I'm that together I'm the sort of person that has a diary these days) when a pigeon almost bounces off my face. Now I remember as a kid my Mum telling me not to chase pigeons because it wasn't fair on them, "the poor things". All I ever did was almost hit them. I'd run upto them and almost hit them so they flew away. I was a nice boy who simply enjoyed scaring birds, on occasion. Usually during dull shopping trips.

My Mum asked me, how would I like it if I had a big pigeon do that to me? I didn't answer her at the time. I now know how I'd feel: really annoyed that these bloody rats with wings think they own our shopping centres.

It's my considered opinion that pigeons, after enjoying years of protection from the likes of people like my parents, have become a little cocky in the new millenium. The Great British Pigeon* appears to think it is higher up in the food chain than it is, and has taken to terrorising innocent people like me when we're on our way to Morrisons.

What I'm trying to say is; firstly Mum was wrong to stop me scaring pigeons as a kid and secondly if you have kids who, like me, aren't inending to hurt them, but are showing them who's boss, let them go mental! It's nature's way.


One of my new year's resolutions is to go to the doctor and sort out my athlete's foot. It needs doing.

*Actually, this may just be a local problem, if any of our national readers are able to confirm it in their area I'd be interested to hear about it:


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