The call of pubic service

I had enormous difficulty sleeping last night. Inosmnia is something I've suffered with all my life. The thing is you have to suss out exactly when you're going to give up and admit there's no chance of you sleeping. I was "tossing and turning" all night. Four times in total. Still sleep eluded me.

In the end I decided to write more stand-up material. Things often seem funnier to me in the middle of the night. It's the legacy of getting "giddy" when I was a kid after not going to bed on time. I seem to be alone amongst adults in that lack of sleep still makes me "giddy" rather than grumpy.

In fact I remember me and a mate staying up all night once and drinking cups of tea because we'd been told that it was a bit like LSD or something. We were only young and stupid. We ended up feeling tired and getting very "giddy" and going to the toilet a lot. It was a good night. I brought the incident up in my best man's speech at his wedding.

The above is an example of the way in which your mind can wander when you're staring at the ceiling, bored, waiting to go to sleep.

Tried all the tricks in the book*:

- Drink a cup of warm milk.

- Stare at the ceiling for ages then close your eyes and drift away.

- Count sheep**.

- Breathing exercisies.

Ye Gods! Insomnia! It's a bloody nightmare.

Or not.


*Have you any other ideas as to how you can get to sleep?
**Why sheep? I've never understood that. Email me if you know the answer -


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