I went to Morrisons today and went shopping for bits. They've got these trolleys that you stick a quid into if you want to use one. When you put the trolly back you get your quid back. I've always hated them, they're one of the reasons I've stopped shopping at Morrisons when I do my 'big shop'. Being treated like a kid because there's a small group of people in this world who behave like kids always gets up my nose*.
Anyway I'm flapping about getting my little bag out of the trolley and talking to my girlfriend on the mobile (she's poorly at the moment) when I drop the quid and it rolls away. Under the rest of the shopping trolleys, where surely there's a small fortune of little pound coins waiting to greet it. In-f#cking-furiating. I'm flapping about now, with a bag of shopping, a mobile cradled under my ear and on my shoulder and a small queue of people growing behind me. I'm trying to look under the army of sneering trolleys to retrieve my little pound coin.
Other people are looking a bit bored by me as I block their way to the shopping experience of the day.
I give up and walk off.
Only as I'm driving away in my car do I realise that if I'd asked at the desk I bet they'd have given me a quid from the 'till just to shut me up and move me on...
Now, I'm not suggesting that the (quite large) local readership of this blog do this but... I reckon if you were going to Morrisons in Hillsborough and you were one of the first there, you could tell them you lost a quid under those trolleys. In the event that they call your bluff and get loads of staff to pull them all out - there's loads - you'd be proved right and if not and they just give you a quid it can be a nice little bit of excitement.
Of course, I'm not suggesting you do that. It'd be wrong.
But if you said a mate had dropped it, you wouldn't quite be lying now would you?
It would still be wrong though.
And I'm not suggesting you do it.
* I'm sure I've mentioned it before, Peanut butter jars with, 'MAY CONTAIN NUTS' written on the side, are a classic example. The more fool-proof we make this society of ours the more it becomes a place fit only for fools. To paraphrase George Orwell.