"No one understands you? For f#ck's sake kid! Get used to it! No one understands anyone. Ever."

I spent the day watching a TV programme about supposed 'alien' worlds which may/or may not exist - out there!!!

I know it sounds stupid but it was actually really good. So good, once it had finished I watched it again on the +1 feature they have on Sky. The premise was simple, send a load of brainy scientists away and tell them to imagine what life might be like on another planet, or in this instance a moon. Get all the things like gravity and stuff sorted out and then judging by what is possible on this planet, suss out what might happen there.

They came up with all these ideas like floating plants and flying whales and stuff. Only scratching the surface of it really but totally drawing me in.

It amazes me the thought that this universe is so huge it renders our own selves so tiny by comparison as to be inconcieveable. Not tiny like ants are to us. Or even, germs. Or even atoms. Even more tiny than that. That's us. Sat on this little earth flapping around.

Does an Ant worry about its penis size? We're smaller than an ant by comparison to the universe. Our concerns are very serious to us. I'm sure it's the same for an ant. It's just trippy to consider.

It made me think, if you could fly off in a rocket and go visit these alien worlds and you did stumble upon similar carbon based life forms to us. What would it prove? What would you do about it? If they weren't intelligent life, like dinosaurs for example what've you gained?

My head has been scrambled by the telly.

In the middle of the mayhem an advert came on which I'd not seen before where a big fat woman comes along and wobbles around talks about how she's not cool has a rubbish haircut and by the looks of it no friends. She nails the confusion with the line "Try telling me I'm not an athlete". Now I've seen the other ones with the fit women dancing around, they're quite good. But this one is surely a little misjudged?

If she's an athlete so am I! - oh fu#k. I just had a thought, is that what I'm supposed to think? God I hate adverts.

Website of the day: emperorowl.blogspot.com

The above site features some of the unused reviews I wrote for REDEYE magazine. For the reviews that were used you'll have to buy the mag. Or email me and I'll send them you over. I guess.



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