"Oh I've wasted my life" breezes Comic Book Guy in a classic Simpsons episode.
I cried with laughter when I saw this. The comment stuck with me all through the story. I'm not dissimilar to comic book guy. I proved this today by sitting down at my desk with loads of work infront of me only to start whiling away the hours getting stuck into the slowly building argument that seems to be growing on 2000ADReview.co.uk after my latest review.
I've even been called a "fan with a typewriter" as some of the posters start the call for me to be permanently removed as a writer from the illustrious website.
Comic book fans are a scary breed. Most of them are in their thirties and have clearly missed the boat. Beardy, overweight and socially inept.
I fit in really well.
Actually I'm currently on another "sort your life out" trip. I've re-started my plan to use 'selftalk'. Something I allude to in my diary of a stand-up.
'Selftalk' is a self-help technique where you record a load of positive statements about yourself and then listen to them before you go to sleep. It was the subject of light-hearted parody in an episode of Friends when Joey used the wrong tape and ended up thinking of himself as a "strong confident woman". - what a hoot! Those guys are so zany! I mean Joey, as a woman!
Last night I downloaded a CD of ambient music which slowly builds in volume. You put it on a timer in the morning and it slowly and gently wakes you up. Lovely I thought, I'll get that lined up for the morning and tonight I'll start my self-talk CDs that I've made.
What actually happened is I listened to a tape of myself for about an hour. Couldn't really sleep. Then had an awful nightmare. Really bad horror film stuff. Then The soundtrack to this horror film kicked in. An eerie, ambient soundtrack which carried on playing even as I woke.
F*ck! What's going on?
I'll give it one last try tomorrow and if it has the same effect I'll bin it.