Going to the toilet is not a leisure activity.

Why do people not wear seatbelts? Your car can fail its MOT if it doesn't have a working seatbelt. Why would you not use it? It amazes me the number of times I've got into a taxi and the people with me act like I'm being all uber-dull and square just because I think everyone should wear one.

Yes! That's right. Everyone, not just me, but you as well. 'Coz if you're in a taxi with me and we smack into a solid object I'm not too keen on the idea of pulling your teeth out of my face. "Oh, we're not going to crash we're just going round the corner". Oh. Oh right. Well that's okay then. Yes, we'll just wear one when we PLAN TO CRASH shall we? Brilliant. "Oh God you always get so paranoid about things". Yup, that's right, I'm being paranoid because I don't like the idea of dealing with a potential 30mph collision without a seatbelt. Or to be more precise with your body flying round in the back of a cab that I'm also in.


Clearly, it's a conversation I've had with people many times. My girlfriend knows not to argue on this one. She even warns her friends nowadays that "it's easier just to wear it". F#ck social convention, I'm happy to tell even people I've only just met that they should strap themselves in. Usually I'll hammer the point home more than in the above rant. 30mph? Screw that, you hit another 30mph vehicle and it's a combined impact speed of 60mph. You're in trouble in that situation without a seatbelt. Sorry. I'm not always right but on this one I am. Always. Right.

You can imagine the annoyance I suffered on the replacement bus service as I watched all the Yahoos sat there, not one of them wearing their seatbelt. Amazing. The one thing that makes this journey so much more dangerous is that it is now being done via the roads. The one thing that slightly limits that danger is a seatbelt. Why not wear it? Stupid. I really was tempted to start telling people. Fortunately I didn't. It seems that replacement bus services are what we have to look forward to in Blair's Britain these days. I'd best get used to them.

Don't, after reading this, not use your seat belt. You'd be really annoyed with yourself in your final moments to know that I was right about something so obvious.



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