The new issue of "Phlegm" looks fantastic!

So I've got a Tesco clubcard. I'm trying to use the bloody thing but I only ever seem to have it when I do not need it. Like when I'm about to pay for a round of drinks. My hand slides into my pocket* pulls out my card and bingo we've got a situation. Tesco clubcards don't buy you drinks.

This weekend just gone I went out with my mates unwittingly armed only with a clubcard. Poor old Mackay ended up buying my drinks.

However, when I'm buying things in Tesco I often do not have my clubcard. I've left it at home thinking "fu#king thing! It's not going to catch me out a second time". This is equally annoying as you endure the sort of smirk that accompanies the following exchange:

"Do you have a clubcard?"

"Yes, yes I do... oh, wait a minute... I left it at home... sorry**"

"Oh well, if you keep your receipt you can put your points on at a later date"

It's during the last part that the person serving you smirks. They know you're not going to bother. They know.

I'm sort of ambivalent towards Tesco. It seems to be drifting into the sort of "big corporation therefore I don't like it" syndrome which McDonalds is still trying to shake off. Orwellian databases based on clubcard returns don't do it any favours in this respect.

That said I want free stuff, food and so forth. If they're going to give me free stuff that's nice. I guess.

I often struggle with capitalism. It's a system which ignores morality yet compared to other economic political systems it's quite good. Like communism isn't too good right? They kill people and stuff.

But so do capitalists.


I hope they give me nice things on my clubcard.


This is a great website: The Song Tapper

You tap out your favourite tune on it and it tries to guess what you were tapping. You must hold the notes and do the right pauses and stuff but it's been 100% accurate for me. Madness.

*I don't have a wallet. I hate wallets. Great way of loosing everything in one mistake. I feel the same way about my mobile phone but have yet to suss out how to do all the phone call things without it. My mobile has everything, all my organisational stuff, on it. Lose it and I'm fu#ked.

**Why sorry? Why do I apologise so much in life? Someone bumps into me, they're not looking where they're going. My response? "Oops a daisy, sorry about that". Why am I sorry? Why lighten the atmosphere like that? I'm clearly weak.


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