Far from getting any better, the situation I hinted at yesterday, by the end of today, actually appears to have got worse. I'll explain if I need to. Anything more on here would rush things for no reason.
Instead I'll focus on the fact that today I spent some time stood in front of a mirror with a hairbrush in my hand reciting my hilarious comedy routine to nobody. It feels weird practicing like that, mainly because it is. However if there's one thing my comedy career needs it's f%ck loads of practice. What I find odd is that I'm actually more embarrased by the reality of practicing in front of a mirror, on my own, that I am getting up in front of an audience and utterly dying on my ar&e. The idea of someone coming in mid-practice is a part of that. "Ere he is, Mr Nicholarse, what you doing mate?". It'd be a bit odd to have to explain. Partly because I was also naked. Just had a shower.
I need to stop doing various things when I'm performing my act... here's a list of them so you can understand why I don't promote any of my gigs:
1, Shift from foot to foot while looking at the floor.
2, Scratch the back of my head.
3, Roll my eyes and look at the ceiling.
4, Rest my hand on my hip.
5, Hold the mic to my chin rather than mouth.
As I'm sure you can tell from the above, I'm a rank amature. I also apologise for rubbish jokes and even when doing a decent punchline I'll look a bit embarrased to be there. This is, in theory, all set to change on Sunday. I've been doing something called 'self-talk'* at the moment and I'm starting to think it works. One of the things I'm focusing on is the idea that I'm relaxed on stage and I don't move around much. I'll know on Sunday if this makes a difference.
This is the reason I'm taking the night off on Sunday.
So I can do stand-up comedy.
Not because I've been sacked or told to leave and persue other interests.
That'd only be the case if I'm not there Monday.
Which of course I will be.
*Wanna try? It's simple. Record a load of positive statements about yourself on tape and then play it to yourself at night while you drift off. I'm using this in relation to my stand-up but you can also use it to get ideas like 'I'm a positive person' into your mind. Eye's glaze over I AM of course A POSITIVE PERSON nowadays.See! It works!