Last night on the radio show I do the callers were suggesting some of life's little pleasures. I've had this feature running for a while now as it works quite well at the start of the week when no one can be ar#ed to do anything. It sort of cheers me up to read a list of nice things. Nothing too nice. Big pleasures make you want to go and experience the thought for yourself. Got to be a little pleasure.
I made this very clear on air a few times but still you get the inevitable: "the day my first kid was born - holding them for the first ever time, seeing their perfect eyes looking up at me..."
No f#cknut. That's surely a big pleasure. As, I'd have thought, is getting married/buying a house/taking class - A drugs? And so forth.
I'm sure you can imagine.
The thing about being on the radio is that you can sometimes get a jaundiced view of humanity, like in any service industry. I used to work behind the 'tills in Morrisons. It only takes one or two halfwits out of 100's to mire your view of the whole of humanity.
The fact of the matter is that most people are as intelligent as you are. And if you work at it in the end they'll contribute to a silly list like this one called; '101 of life's little pleasures'.
Here is the final list... you'll notice it's one short. I enjoyed that. When they were all counted up I realised we were missing one and it was time to do other stuff on the show. I think if I'd got 101 compiling this list would have been a big pleasure for me. As it is, that failure made it a little one.
Nick Margerrison's Hallam FM list of 101 of Life's Little Pleasures....
1 Scratching your athlete’s foot. (Regular readers may notice this is clearly one of mine, I put it in to get the ball rolling)
2 Breaking open an new jar of coffee.
4 Spotting a mistake in a film
5 Fresh creamy new milk on cereal from the top of the bottle
6 Random cuddles
7 Finding money you forgot you had in a drawer or pocket
8 When you beat someone to a parking bay ( ha ha)
9 When someone follows you in to the toilet and youve left a smell
10 Alarm goes off early/wake up early.
11 Finding a quid.
12 Having your back scratched in just the right place.
13 Peeling a satsuma
14 Knowing you have a day off
15 Watching someone fall over in the street
16 Not putting any weight on over Xmas
17 Having a lazy day and not going out of the house and not even getin dressed
18 A cheeky smile off a good looking woman.
19 A cheeky smile off a good looking bloke
20 Squeezing bubble wrap
21 Dipping a teabag then scrunching it against the cup and watching the brown tea water come out
22 Crumpled bit of paper in your back pocket – turns out to be a tenner
23 You go get new clothes and find out you’re a size smaller
24 Getting a hair cut
25 Farting in the bath
26 Having a wee in the toilet with the door wide open ‘coz there’s no one in the house
27 Going to the gym
28 Playboy **
29 Budweiser **
30 All cold outside – you’re wrapped up in bed inside
31 Hot soup
32 Whem you listen to the radio and you get all the songs that you like in a row
33 Not sleeping in the wet patch
34 When someone else answers the door or phone for you
35 Going to the cash machine and finding money you didnt know you had
36 The cold side of a pillow
37 When you're hot and you go outside in the summer and you get a nice breeze down your back
38 Getting into a freshly made bed
39 Squeezing a spot on your chin and hearing that tiny little noise it makes as the green gunk squirts out
40 Gettin through all the traffic lights on ur way home from work
41 Someone letting you go in traffic
42 Seeing someone you don’t like getting annoyed
43 Getting the car out of a garage in working order
44 Having a wee after you needed one for ages
45 Opeining a milk carton properly
46 When your ear 'pops' and you get your hearing back (which you didn't realise you'd lost)
47 Having a bus that is actually on time
48 Farting in a lift or crowded room then looking f#cking disgusted as if it was someone else
49 Eating a fry-up when your on a diet
50 When you've had a lot of work to do, you've finished it and then you have the rest of the day to yourself
51 Not having to work on a monday as only you only work four days a week
52 The first sip of a glass of good wine
53 When your watch is a bit slow and its almost the end of the day and your psyching yourself up for the final ten minutes and you realise you can leave already
54 Having a wee in freshly fallen snow
55 Seeing an idiot who has inconvenienced you suffering the consequences of their idiotic behaviour. A good example, being a speeding moron who cuts you up on the motorway and then few junctions down there he is being bollo#ked by the police
56 Coming home after a night out clubbing and someone has popped a hot water bottle in your bed for you
57 A baby exploring your face with its hands
58 A baby (or babies) laughing
59 A handwritten letter
60 Lying in bed listenin to some saddo trying to fill his time up thinking of 101 (why not just 100?) of life's little pleasures
61 Hearing Hallam FM when you cross back into South Yorkshire after being away
62 Listening to Nick on the radio
63 First breath of air on a summers morning
64 Your partner cooking you a sunday roast with all the trimmings (surely that's a big one?)
65 A sunny, warm day with no rain.
66 When it rains and it’s been really sunny
67 Waking up thinking you have to go to work, then realising its a bank holiday
68 Spreading out in a double bed when your wife is working nights
69 Havin sex with a random stranger when your out on the town
70 Walkin past a really good looking person
71 When the boss makes a mistake which everyone is aware of
72 Peeling sunburnt skin
73 Waking up and realising its your birthday
74 Spending time on your own with some KY jelly
75 Your first bacon sandwich after quitting the vegy way of life
76 When a traffic warden gets a parking ticket
77 The smell just after it rains in summer
78 Waking up next to your partner in bed and then being 'romantic'
79 Eating an ice cream
80 Someone you hate failing an exam
81 Waking up to the smell of bacon
82 Goin to sleep at night in your warm bed
83 Being able to do anything you like after gettin rid of pain in the arse partner
85 Having a lie in and listening to Big John and the gang having a laugh
86 After a hard day at work, letting the dog lick your feet
88 Tendering the inexact fare on a bus and getting away with it
89 Hearing the alarm going off turning it off going back to sleep
90 The taste of melting butter on hot toast
91 Finishing work on a friday evening
92 Sunday papers
93 Finding out your box of chocolate has 2 trays
94 When you turn the radio on and your favourite song is playing
95 When you are chilled out with your girlfriend on the sofa with some cans
96 Getting six roast chicken packets of crisps when the multipack bag states that there should be five
97 When a petrol pump stops exactly on a pound instead of a random amount
98 Having your head stroked
99 My daughter giving me a cuddle
100 Having a bath without any interruptions
101 - ?
That's right dear reader. It's upto you. Email me in a little pleasure and I'll pick the best one. Nick@hallamfm.co.uk
Also if you think this list needs correcting or adjusting email me and tell me. I'll annotate and date any corrections which come up.
*Is it a little pleasure? Some may say it's a big pleasure. As I say feel free to email in.
**Remember these are not my choices - I personally would agree with anyone who wanted to remove these two.