The 3rd of May, judgement day, now I see the flush, and the burning of the Bush.

Last night on the radio show I do the callers were suggesting some of life's little pleasures. I've had this feature running for a while now as it works quite well at the start of the week when no one can be ar#ed to do anything. It sort of cheers me up to read a list of nice things. Nothing too nice. Big pleasures make you want to go and experience the thought for yourself. Got to be a little pleasure.

I made this very clear on air a few times but still you get the inevitable: "the day my first kid was born - holding them for the first ever time, seeing their perfect eyes looking up at me..."

No f#cknut. That's surely a big pleasure. As, I'd have thought, is getting married/buying a house/taking class - A drugs? And so forth.

I'm sure you can imagine.

The thing about being on the radio is that you can sometimes get a jaundiced view of humanity, like in any service industry. I used to work behind the 'tills in Morrisons. It only takes one or two halfwits out of 100's to mire your view of the whole of humanity.

The fact of the matter is that most people are as intelligent as you are. And if you work at it in the end they'll contribute to a silly list like this one called; '101 of life's little pleasures'.

Here is the final list... you'll notice it's one short. I enjoyed that. When they were all counted up I realised we were missing one and it was time to do other stuff on the show. I think if I'd got 101 compiling this list would have been a big pleasure for me. As it is, that failure made it a little one.

Nick Margerrison's Hallam FM list of 101 of Life's Little Pleasures....

1 Scratching your athlete’s foot. (Regular readers may notice this is clearly one of mine, I put it in to get the ball rolling)


2 Breaking open an new jar of coffee.


3 Chocolate*


4 Spotting a mistake in a film


5 Fresh creamy new milk on cereal from the top of the bottle


6 Random cuddles


7 Finding money you forgot you had in a drawer or pocket


8 When you beat someone to a parking bay ( ha ha)


9 When someone follows you in to the toilet and youve left a smell


10 Alarm goes off early/wake up early.


11 Finding a quid.


12 Having your back scratched in just the right place.


13 Peeling a satsuma


14 Knowing you have a day off


15 Watching someone fall over in the street


16 Not putting any weight on over Xmas


17 Having a lazy day and not going out of the house and not even getin dressed


18 A cheeky smile off a good looking woman.


19 A cheeky smile off a good looking bloke


20 Squeezing bubble wrap


21 Dipping a teabag then scrunching it against the cup and watching the brown tea water come out


22 Crumpled bit of paper in your back pocket – turns out to be a tenner


23 You go get new clothes and find out you’re a size smaller


24 Getting a hair cut


25 Farting in the bath


26 Having a wee in the toilet with the door wide open ‘coz there’s no one in the house


27 Going to the gym


28 Playboy **


29 Budweiser **


30 All cold outside – you’re wrapped up in bed inside


31 Hot soup


32 Whem you listen to the radio and you get all the songs that you like in a row


33 Not sleeping in the wet patch


34 When someone else answers the door or phone for you


35 Going to the cash machine and finding money you didnt know you had


36 The cold side of a pillow


37 When you're hot and you go outside in the summer and you get a nice breeze down your back

38 Getting into a freshly made bed


39 Squeezing a spot on your chin and hearing that tiny little noise it makes as the green gunk squirts out


40 Gettin through all the traffic lights on ur way home from work


41 Someone letting you go in traffic


42 Seeing someone you don’t like getting annoyed


43 Getting the car out of a garage in working order


44 Having a wee after you needed one for ages


45 Opeining a milk carton properly


46 When your ear 'pops' and you get your hearing back (which you didn't realise you'd lost)


47 Having a bus that is actually on time


48 Farting in a lift or crowded room then looking f#cking disgusted as if it was someone else


49 Eating a fry-up when your on a diet


50 When you've had a lot of work to do, you've finished it and then you have the rest of the day to yourself


51 Not having to work on a monday as only you only work four days a week


52 The first sip of a glass of good wine


53 When your watch is a bit slow and its almost the end of the day and your psyching yourself up for the final ten minutes and you realise you can leave already


54 Having a wee in freshly fallen snow


55 Seeing an idiot who has inconvenienced you suffering the consequences of their idiotic behaviour. A good example, being a speeding moron who cuts you up on the motorway and then few junctions down there he is being bollo#ked by the police


56 Coming home after a night out clubbing and someone has popped a hot water bottle in your bed for you


57 A baby exploring your face with its hands


58 A baby (or babies) laughing


59 A handwritten letter


60 Lying in bed listenin to some saddo trying to fill his time up thinking of 101 (why not just 100?) of life's little pleasures


61 Hearing Hallam FM when you cross back into South Yorkshire after being away


62 Listening to Nick on the radio


63 First breath of air on a summers morning


64 Your partner cooking you a sunday roast with all the trimmings (surely that's a big one?)


65 A sunny, warm day with no rain.


66 When it rains and it’s been really sunny


67 Waking up thinking you have to go to work, then realising its a bank holiday


68 Spreading out in a double bed when your wife is working nights


69 Havin sex with a random stranger when your out on the town


70 Walkin past a really good looking person


71 When the boss makes a mistake which everyone is aware of


72 Peeling sunburnt skin


73 Waking up and realising its your birthday


74 Spending time on your own with some KY jelly


75 Your first bacon sandwich after quitting the vegy way of life


76 When a traffic warden gets a parking ticket


77 The smell just after it rains in summer


78 Waking up next to your partner in bed and then being 'romantic'


79 Eating an ice cream


80 Someone you hate failing an exam


81 Waking up to the smell of bacon


82 Goin to sleep at night in your warm bed


83 Being able to do anything you like after gettin rid of pain in the arse partner


84 Wa#king


85 Having a lie in and listening to Big John and the gang having a laugh


86 After a hard day at work, letting the dog lick your feet


87 Dogs


88 Tendering the inexact fare on a bus and getting away with it


89 Hearing the alarm going off turning it off going back to sleep


90 The taste of melting butter on hot toast


91 Finishing work on a friday evening


92 Sunday papers


93 Finding out your box of chocolate has 2 trays


94 When you turn the radio on and your favourite song is playing


95 When you are chilled out with your girlfriend on the sofa with some cans


96 Getting six roast chicken packets of crisps when the multipack bag states that there should be five


97 When a petrol pump stops exactly on a pound instead of a random amount


98 Having your head stroked


99 My daughter giving me a cuddle


100 Having a bath without any interruptions


101 - ?

That's right dear reader. It's upto you. Email me in a little pleasure and I'll pick the best one. Nick@hallamfm.co.uk

Also if you think this list needs correcting or adjusting email me and tell me. I'll annotate and date any corrections which come up.

*Is it a little pleasure? Some may say it's a big pleasure. As I say feel free to email in.

**Remember these are not my choices - I personally would agree with anyone who wanted to remove these two.

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