The 3rd of May, judgement day, now I see the flush, and the burning of the Bush.

Last night on the radio show I do the callers were suggesting some of life's little pleasures. I've had this feature running for a while now as it works quite well at the start of the week when no one can be ar#ed to do anything. It sort of cheers me up to read a list of nice things. Nothing too nice. Big pleasures make you want to go and experience the thought for yourself. Got to be a little pleasure.

I made this very clear on air a few times but still you get the inevitable: "the day my first kid was born - holding them for the first ever time, seeing their perfect eyes looking up at me..."

No f#cknut. That's surely a big pleasure. As, I'd have thought, is getting married/buying a house/taking class - A drugs? And so forth.

I'm sure you can imagine.

The thing about being on the radio is that you can sometimes get a jaundiced view of humanity, like in any service industry. I used to work behind the 'tills in Morrisons. It only takes one or two halfwits out of 100's to mire your view of the whole of humanity.

The fact of the matter is that most people are as intelligent as you are. And if you work at it in the end they'll contribute to a silly list like this one called; '101 of life's little pleasures'.

Here is the final list... you'll notice it's one short. I enjoyed that. When they were all counted up I realised we were missing one and it was time to do other stuff on the show. I think if I'd got 101 compiling this list would have been a big pleasure for me. As it is, that failure made it a little one.

Nick Margerrison's Hallam FM list of 101 of Life's Little Pleasures....

1 Scratching your athlete’s foot. (Regular readers may notice this is clearly one of mine, I put it in to get the ball rolling)

2 Breaking open an new jar of coffee.

3 Chocolate*

4 Spotting a mistake in a film

5 Fresh creamy new milk on cereal from the top of the bottle

6 Random cuddles

7 Finding money you forgot you had in a drawer or pocket

8 When you beat someone to a parking bay ( ha ha)

9 When someone follows you in to the toilet and youve left a smell

10 Alarm goes off early/wake up early.

11 Finding a quid.

12 Having your back scratched in just the right place.

13 Peeling a satsuma

14 Knowing you have a day off

15 Watching someone fall over in the street

16 Not putting any weight on over Xmas

17 Having a lazy day and not going out of the house and not even getin dressed

18 A cheeky smile off a good looking woman.

19 A cheeky smile off a good looking bloke

20 Squeezing bubble wrap

21 Dipping a teabag then scrunching it against the cup and watching the brown tea water come out

22 Crumpled bit of paper in your back pocket – turns out to be a tenner

23 You go get new clothes and find out you’re a size smaller

24 Getting a hair cut

25 Farting in the bath

26 Having a wee in the toilet with the door wide open ‘coz there’s no one in the house

27 Going to the gym

28 Playboy **

29 Budweiser **

30 All cold outside – you’re wrapped up in bed inside

31 Hot soup

32 Whem you listen to the radio and you get all the songs that you like in a row

33 Not sleeping in the wet patch

34 When someone else answers the door or phone for you

35 Going to the cash machine and finding money you didnt know you had

36 The cold side of a pillow

37 When you're hot and you go outside in the summer and you get a nice breeze down your back

38 Getting into a freshly made bed

39 Squeezing a spot on your chin and hearing that tiny little noise it makes as the green gunk squirts out

40 Gettin through all the traffic lights on ur way home from work

41 Someone letting you go in traffic

42 Seeing someone you don’t like getting annoyed

43 Getting the car out of a garage in working order

44 Having a wee after you needed one for ages

45 Opeining a milk carton properly

46 When your ear 'pops' and you get your hearing back (which you didn't realise you'd lost)

47 Having a bus that is actually on time

48 Farting in a lift or crowded room then looking f#cking disgusted as if it was someone else

49 Eating a fry-up when your on a diet

50 When you've had a lot of work to do, you've finished it and then you have the rest of the day to yourself

51 Not having to work on a monday as only you only work four days a week

52 The first sip of a glass of good wine

53 When your watch is a bit slow and its almost the end of the day and your psyching yourself up for the final ten minutes and you realise you can leave already

54 Having a wee in freshly fallen snow

55 Seeing an idiot who has inconvenienced you suffering the consequences of their idiotic behaviour. A good example, being a speeding moron who cuts you up on the motorway and then few junctions down there he is being bollo#ked by the police

56 Coming home after a night out clubbing and someone has popped a hot water bottle in your bed for you

57 A baby exploring your face with its hands

58 A baby (or babies) laughing

59 A handwritten letter

60 Lying in bed listenin to some saddo trying to fill his time up thinking of 101 (why not just 100?) of life's little pleasures

61 Hearing Hallam FM when you cross back into South Yorkshire after being away

62 Listening to Nick on the radio

63 First breath of air on a summers morning

64 Your partner cooking you a sunday roast with all the trimmings (surely that's a big one?)

65 A sunny, warm day with no rain.

66 When it rains and it’s been really sunny

67 Waking up thinking you have to go to work, then realising its a bank holiday

68 Spreading out in a double bed when your wife is working nights

69 Havin sex with a random stranger when your out on the town

70 Walkin past a really good looking person

71 When the boss makes a mistake which everyone is aware of

72 Peeling sunburnt skin

73 Waking up and realising its your birthday

74 Spending time on your own with some KY jelly

75 Your first bacon sandwich after quitting the vegy way of life

76 When a traffic warden gets a parking ticket

77 The smell just after it rains in summer

78 Waking up next to your partner in bed and then being 'romantic'

79 Eating an ice cream

80 Someone you hate failing an exam

81 Waking up to the smell of bacon

82 Goin to sleep at night in your warm bed

83 Being able to do anything you like after gettin rid of pain in the arse partner

84 Wa#king

85 Having a lie in and listening to Big John and the gang having a laugh

86 After a hard day at work, letting the dog lick your feet

87 Dogs

88 Tendering the inexact fare on a bus and getting away with it

89 Hearing the alarm going off turning it off going back to sleep

90 The taste of melting butter on hot toast

91 Finishing work on a friday evening

92 Sunday papers

93 Finding out your box of chocolate has 2 trays

94 When you turn the radio on and your favourite song is playing

95 When you are chilled out with your girlfriend on the sofa with some cans

96 Getting six roast chicken packets of crisps when the multipack bag states that there should be five

97 When a petrol pump stops exactly on a pound instead of a random amount

98 Having your head stroked

99 My daughter giving me a cuddle

100 Having a bath without any interruptions

101 - ?

That's right dear reader. It's upto you. Email me in a little pleasure and I'll pick the best one.

Also if you think this list needs correcting or adjusting email me and tell me. I'll annotate and date any corrections which come up.

*Is it a little pleasure? Some may say it's a big pleasure. As I say feel free to email in.

**Remember these are not my choices - I personally would agree with anyone who wanted to remove these two.


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