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thecultofnick

Battle between the wibbly people and the prickly people

This month I promised myself I wouldn't worry about my hit counter. Last month I suffered the indignity of getting all hung up about whether or not it would go up on the previous month. They give you the totals for each month. It'd look a bit rubbish if it went down right?

But who cares? It's a confidential account. I'm supposed to be writing this for a nobler purpose. I've struggled to suss out exactly what that is. I've tried to not be excited when the hit rate goes up on it, without success. I've known it was a bad thing to do and knew it as soon as the counter went up on here.

However - this time, even though I've not been worrying about it quite so much it looks like, for yet another month running, the hit rate has continued to climb. This clearly is down to word of mouth. I've not to my memory plugged it at all on the radio recently and yet still we're getting new readers as well as retaining the old ones.

I can only think this is because someone other than me is promoting the site. Like, erm, you. The reader. So ... you know. Um... thanks.

That and the weird things people type into search engines.

I've had the following searches lead to this site:

"athele's foot" - presumably looking for "athlete's foot" this halfwit stumbled across my equally numb-nutted attempts to describe the annoying/satisfying condition.

""Lady Punches" teacher" - this guy's clearly an advanced level searcher. He's using quotation marks! Ever want to google something properly use them! However, how I got on page one of a search like this I'll never know.

"+cuckold +regret" - my odd titles sometimes draw in odd readers. A cuckold is someone who has their wife cheat on them. I once put up a title about "twisted cuckold fantasies". From that point onwards I've had poor people like this landing on my nonsensical ramblings. The tragedy is that I'm on something like page 21 of a search like this. So they're really doing their research and I'm yet another dissapointment on the way.

"dan-bryan" - a bloke who was on Big Brother some time ago. I slagged him off (perhaps a little too viciously according to my girlfriend) a while ago. I'm on page 11 of a web search on this guy. Who reckons it was him who leafed though the preceeding pages?

"Shayne Ward Images for Desktop" - am on page 3 of this particular search. Quite surprising really. Google put the pages in order of hits - I was told - the blog only gets a few thousand. You'd have thought a big popstar like.. oh. Yeh. It's Shayne Ward. Again, the poor f#cker will have stumbled on me slagging their idol off.

"cuckold fantasies" - oh dear. Yet another one. The problem with this particular type of search is the more people who come to my site looking for it, the more hits I get and the more people come in the future. I'm on the first page of this search.

"need to know what happens if a condom has just come out from the penis whiling having sex" - oh dear. Some poor bugger looking for advice. I'm sure their kids will be well looked after. Spelling mistakes manage to get my site onto the first page.

"Rik Mayall cheated death after a quad bike accident" - this is possibly one of the few searches I'm not a little embarrased about.

"long little fingernail" - second most popular search behind the cuckold one. Why is that? What's the significance of such a search? Why do so many put it into google? Is it a band or something?

"the thinker with a beard" - scrap the Rik Mayall comment. This is the best search of them all! I love that. Page one as well. This list is fun.

"phoneboy hallam fm" - page 4 of this search. My old mate needs to up his game a bit.

NM

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