Not the wise or the lamb (Sunday)

There's thousands of 'em. Absolutely screaming like lusty warriors. Every time there's a break in the song I pop my fingers in my ears knowing that they're going to be ringing like a fire bell in hell for the next few months...

Now they're dancing in the middle of the crowd on a giant temporary stage which has been lowered from the ceiling.

And now they're talking to the audience about a 'special bloke' who was there with them from the start - and is here tonight. Whispers fly round like a fire dancing from tree to tree. "Robbie? It's Robbie! Is it Robbie?"

"Nigel Martin Smith" Mark Owen continues and the audience replies with a series of loud booing and hissing noises. He looks a little surprised and replies with "No, erm.. if it weren't for 'im you'd not be 'ere."

Then Gary Barlow announces that he and the band have had a great idea. They're going to run through the crowd back to the stage. I'd heard this was going to happen earlier. In fact I'd been stopped from getting to the bar by a steward in order to make room for them.

Surely this will turn into a full-scale riot?

Our side of the crowd gets Gary and Howard*. As they run past with all these women touching them my girlfriend leaps out of her chair and grabs Howard. She gives him a big kiss and looks confused/happy/excited. Frankly you couldn't have done this sort of thing at a rock gig. Liam would have been punched.

With a ratio bordering on something like 4 women to every bloke this crowd is one of the nicest group of intensely excited people I've ever been a part of.

It is in my opinion proof that women should rule the world. They're nicer.

Even if their collective taste in music is a bit rubbish.

NM

*No idea what his last name is. Or indeed who he is.

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