There are few advantages to insomnia but this isn't one of them

I've always liked f#ckwitted pretentious popstar Madonna. She's in the middle of a great little silly controversey at the moment where Christian groups are annoyed that during her tour she straps herself to a twenty foot cross during one of her little songs [external link to story]. What I love about it is that firstly I'd guess that no one gives a s#it really. I wouldn't be surprised if this story had come from her people. In fact, it stands to reason that whoever has complained must on at least some level be a Madonna fan or how would they be aware of it? Stinks of publicity stunt.

Then again I'd find something to complain about if I'd spunked out £160! F#cking Diana Princess of Wales could come back from the grave and s#ck the toes of every audience member and I'd still be a bit annoyed at the price.

Anyway, it's important for the next bit that you understand how much I like Madonna. she's great. What's more I think she's actually, very clearly, a little bit like a modern day Jesus. I don't have time to explain why.

If I were christian I might be thinking it was time to convert to following Madonna instead of Christ. I'd also be a little annoyed that people think it's okay to f#ck about with my iconography without there being any consequences. Perhaps I'd convert to the way of the Madonnaian and along the way become a little more millitant about stuff. The only thing I'd be wondering would be this. If Madonna were to be crucified would she come back from the dead like what God did?

I'm not suggesting I'd try and kill her in order to find out. That'd be crazy.

What I'm saying is I'd be waiting for her to make that final sacrifice. The natural next big step in her divinely ordained direction from pop star (and failed wannabe film actress) to Mother Goddess! I'm sure it's what any sane deviantly obsessed mentally unbalanced fan of the material girl would want. But no matter how much you (and God) actually want something it's never right to give everything a helpful push in the right direction. Never.

But what better way for Madonna to finally enter that glorious cannon of legends such as John Lennon, Kurt Cobain and Jimi Hendrix!

It is surely what she would have wanted?

I'm sure it'll be sooner rather than later that she takes that final noble step.

On her own, without anyone's assistance.



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