Figgy wiggy, figgy wiggy, wiggy figgy.

Hallam FM has shut down early in anticipation of the England match. I'm sat with my good friend Mr Boy typing up my 'blog with the TV blaring in the background. I've just listened to some "pundits" talking about the oncoming game. They were literally saying this like: "it'll be great if they can win this, not so good if they lose". Well f#ck me what a genius. I could do that job and I've only watched two games of football in my life. Ever. -tssk. Off goes the telly. Phoneboy's gone down stairs to watch it on his own. I think I put him off by slagging it off so much.

In the past I've joked that the reason I didn't like football was because I always had to be the fat kid in goal. Football to me was having a big leather ball kicked in my fat face while I watched to see if anyone stole the makeshift goalposts; my jumper and pants. This image is boll#cks. Me and my little clique of friends just didn't play football. My dislike of the sport goes back even further than that. To Primary School where I didn't play it either. But not because I was fat or anything like that. As a kid I was actually quite slim and athletic. The chubby Nick came only with the introduction of the Commodore Amiga into my life.

At primary school I was obsessively rebellious. I would always try to go against the grain. I'm not sure why. It may have been the influence of my favourite comic The Beano*. It may have been something genetic. I'm not sure. I had a happy home life. I just liked disagreeing with the status quo. So much so that I used the lexicon of the time and argued that forcing boys to play football was sexist and that teachers were ingraining sexist attitudes into the pupils. This arguement curried favour with the mostly middle class parents who eventually backed my "campaign" for mixed sex sports lessons. Great. I got to play netball.

In later life I worried that this made me gay. I'd wanted to play netball with the girls.

In later life after that I thought it made me seem very hetrosexual. I wanted to play with girls.

Now I'm older and the hormones and sexual doubt have faded I realise I was just an annoying little kid who enjoyed arguing with people about trivial things.


*Seriously. My two favourite strips were The Bash Street Kids and Roger the Dodger both of whom had naughty disobedient characters. Also, the latter famously didn't like football. Interesting.


Leather Face said…
I think the trouble with Football is that so many people have become fanatics rather than fans. I like Football especially the world cup but I don't follow any team. I thinl England have been rubbish and boring this world cup. What I like to watch is a good fast flowing game. Thus I am a football fan not a certain team fanatic.

The Germans, Spanish and Argentines games have been the most exciting teams to watch so far.

PS. I was the skinny kid always stuck in the nets although it was by choice, i've always been an idle t*at ;0)

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