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Yesterday, I won a million pounds

The recent suicides at Guantanamo Bay were a [external link to The Daily Mirror.co.uk] publicity stunt, according to a US diplomat. What a relief! There was me thinking that these people had killed themselves because they'd been driven mad by a desperate situation. Turns out they're just anxious to get some headlines; a tough call at the moment, what with Big Brother 7 and The World Cup!

What better way to get in the papers than by killing yourself? It worked for Kurt Cobain and matey out of INXS. You know that bloke who was nob#in' Kylie*. These terrorists really are nutters then aren't they? Killing themselves just to get a few headlines? Crikey.

That means these people must have managed to reduce human life the level of how many collumn inches it can generate for their cause. That is surely the logic of a psychopath? It's odd that they're so media-centric. Just like it was odd that that bloke who the Americans reckoned had been training in an Afganistan terror camp actually turned out to have been working in a branch of Currys here in the UK at the time.

Actually - sorry - I've misunderstood the official line. Rather than just being a PR stunt Rear Admiral Harry Harris actually assures us they were "an act of asymmetric warfare against us". Crikey. So not a PR stunt but more of an attack! This is scary. A war where the other side kills themselves to spite you really is a new kind combat.

I give up. No matter how hard I try to toe the official line I can't manage it. The PR person sees it in PR terms. The war bloke sees it in terms of war. Us humans see it in terms of humanity. It's a tragedy. Nothing more. These people who are trying to put a spin on it should be ashamed. We're not f#cking robots. Neither are they.

NM

*Actually there is a bit of confusion about that. He was actually indulging in something called auto-erotic asphixiation. You choke yourself and just before you lose consciousness you get a bo#er or something. I think it's to do with the fact that on death male humans ejaculate. I'm out of my depth on this stuff. I've never really understood it. Whips and chains? Why would you want someone to beat the sh#t out of you? At all? Let alone as a precursor to sex.

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