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I'm not quite ready for the end of the world. Are you?

I've been annoyed all day today about a little bit of tuna which fell out of the bowl I was mixing it in and onto the unwashed* work surface of my flat. It was a small sugar spoon sized chunk, of little matter in the great scheme of things, but it really annoyed me. I feel cheated out of it. I couldn't open up a new tin and make up the difference. It was lost. It's like when you eat a Magnum and a bit of chocolate lands on the grass. Ruined! Ruined! Whole experience ruined! I'd rather not have had the Magnum at all. The mental torture of losing a bit like that is too much for me!

I've obviously got issues with food. If you've read this blog for anything more than a month or more you'll know that. I go to Weight Watchers for starters. that's a bit of a give away isn't it? We had a sort of confessions chat recently in the vein of Alcoholics Anonymous**. We ended up talking about comfort eating. Not by design, that's just the way the conversation went. I out did all of them. It's always been my problem. I eat normally for ages then I spend literally weeks stuffing my face with crap.

Then again, I write all this and I end up exaggerating. It sounds worse than it is. My poor girlfriend gets sucked into all this as well. Recently I'm sat there chatting to some of her friends about Weight Watchers. They're doing the whole - "what are you going there for?" thing*** which people feel obliged to do. my girlfriend kicks in with:

"Yeah, he's got this body dismorphia thing... he thinks he's fatter than he is"

"Oh right" reply her friends, deciding it's best to leave it.

Body dismorphia? Where the f#ck did that come from? A combination of my girlfriend not realising that's a specific term for a mental illness and my over hyping the situation. As I always do. I blame it on my job. Radio presenters need to be masters of hype if they're to get by. Over the years this has bled through into my normal parlance. I over egg the pudding. Even if it's a pudding which doesn't require egg.

Still annoyed about the tuna. F#cking thing.

NM

*My whole flat is unwashed. I live in a sort of slum. A nice slum. Just a slum.

**I imagine. I've never been to AA. Not needed it yet. thank god. Touch wood etc. Alcohol's good but it's not a patch on gorging yourself on cereal. Not a patch.

***An annoying question at the best of times. I'm going there to try and score drugs and find out where the cheapest wh#res are, obviously.

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