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thecultofnick

My faith in computers restored after abloke at BT hooks up with me over the internet and fixes it. He was a legend.

Taking my weight watchers uber-seriously now. I'm on it in a big way baby. Can't believe I put on two pounds yearsterday. Feeling really fat now.

Doing research for my show today, looking for some "News They Didn't Use" and I stumbled on this story* about a bloke who had a penis transplant after he lost his own one in a horrific accident. Left only with a useless stump he was unable to urinate and enjoy a healthy normal sex life. His doner came in the form of a 22 year old brain dead bloke after his family gave permission. Apparently the man and his wife were initially happy with it but ultimately after two weeks they had it removed due to "psychological complications"!

What.

The.

Fu#k?

That's insane. Imagine that. You've got some other bloke's todg#r dangling twixt your legs. Do you think he and his wife had sex? With some other bloke's c#ck? Apparrently it was fully functional. Do you think that the decision was mutual? Maybe they had sex and the wife liked it, you know, a bit too much...

"You never used to enjoy sex as much as that honey."

"Erm... yeah, I just... erm..."

"Sc#ew it, I'm taking this thing back. I'd rather not have one than suffer this sort of humilliation."

Can you imagine? You've got a new winky, you're looking at it, it's someone elses but it's now sewn onto you. Bonkers.

So many questions. I want more answers.

Any chance I can get Linford Christie's when he's done with it?

NM

*This link might send you to a page asking for your email address. Lie to it. I said my email address was nick@nochancemate.co.uk and it still let me through.

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