I never used to have any problem having a wee wee. It might be that I'm getting older. It might be that I'm getting less comfortable standing next to strangers with my winky out. It might be some sort of medical problem. I went to the toilet recently and to my horror discovered the urinals were in a little tiny corner of the room. There was only room for two people at the most. As I stood there, inevitably some other bloke decided to join me. He was a jockular f#cker;
"Wehey! It's a tight fit in 'ere innit mate?" he giggled.
"Um.. yep. Yep." I said in as polite and friendly a manner as possible. Then I looked at the wall infront of me and knew in that instant that I couldn't pee. He'd distracted me. I kept thinking he'd start chatting again.
"You not having a p#ss then mate?" he'd say. Fortunately he didn't but the damage was done. I just stood there, winky in hand feeling like I was waiting at a bus stop. I tried to force it. I've no idea how that's possible. I'm not sure it is. In fact the effort seemed to stifle it.
Matey next to me was p#ssing away like a b#stard. He was having a great time. He even started humming a tune to himself. Then I realised that due to the geography of the room I'd have to squeeze past him and the other bloke who had just started waiting behind me if I wanted to leave. This was turning into a nightmare.
"I think in future I'm going to do sit down wee wees in public toilets," I thought to myself as I waited for matey to finish up and leave.
I think failing to perform at the urinal is equal in shame value to failing to stand tall for the lady. I look forward to my winky doing that in later life as well.