Hope my mate James Piekos gets back into the UK okay. He's gone on holiday to Thailand. I've hectored him in the past with my narrow views on intercontinental travel. Why would I want to go getting involved in other coutries? Get all wrapped up in s#it I know nothing about and/or don't understand? Horrible idea. This country is great thanks, I'll stay here. Anyway I'm sat watching telly last week and I see a news story about a revolution and the implementation of martial law there and almost fall off my seat.
"Sh#t? The poor f#cker's going to be dead for sure. I'd best text him."
Here's his reply...
"Hey man! First we heard about coup was when we got a load of texts. Not seen or heard a thing ourselves, and having a fantastic time. On my way to Chang Mai in the north on night train. Not back in bangkok till end of holiday, so should be fine. Will let you know if anything kicks off though. J"
Good. So he's okay. Still my point remains, why would I want to go anywhere else other than this country? Not interested. Then again I'm becoming less happy with England these days. There seems to be a nasty rise in nationalism and racism at the moment. It's obviously triggered in part by idiots like the ones I write about here and recent turns in international politics. That's no excuse though. I recently noticed that there's a lot of England flags up around Sheffield. I don't know why but the sight of my country's flag just depresses me. I actually consider it not very patriotic to wave it around. It's just not how we do things in this country. It's the sort of thing Europeans do. You know, the colonies. That lot.
I had my computer fixed by a bloke recently over the phone. He fixed it using a remote hook up. So he's sat there in his call centre, accessing my computer and fixing it for me. Amazing!* It was an amazing service, only ten pound a month from BT. I'd heartily reccommend it to you if you're a total f#cknut on the 'puter like me. Anyway, this bloke was originally from India. He was a little touchy about this though as when I asked him whereabouts he thought I was under the impression he was IN India. Presumably people have flipped out about this in the past.
"Paying £10 a month to be put through to some call centre in India??"
As he fixed my computer there were moments of obvious downtime as the machine loaded stuff up and so forth. During these we got to chatting about stuff after I overheard him mention he was feeling a bit poorly to one of his co-workers. I asked him what was wrong and initially he didn't explain much. Later on when we'd been on the phone for about an hour or so he explained that his wife had recently been the victim of a couple of thugs on a train. They'd held her on the carriage, not letting her get off at her stop and then poured beer on her head as they told her she "shouldn't be in this country". She was reduced to having to tell these fools that she wasn't a Muslim as other people on the train ignored what was happening to her. It made no difference as they were out to get their kicks. In the end a female ticket inspector got involved and she was able to escape. The whole story was so bleak it really got me down.
I hope they catch the c#nts and lock 'em up. F#cking disgrace. This country needs to sort itself out a bit. I've absolutely no idea how.
Perhaps I should organise a revolution like in Thailand.
*To only me. Everyone else I've told about this has gone, "yeh, so what I knew about that years ago". Fine, so did I. Infact my old producer Ben used to hook up our computers on the talshow years ago. It's still amazing. To think he's there miles away, fixing things. Like he was in the room. That is amazing. S#rew you if you think it's not. You're too cool for your own good.