(Saturday) Lose the fear and be yourself, two things to do before you die.

Today I was beaten at Ten Pin Bowling by a group of girls. I came second to last, twice. I took it in my stride and pretended that my male ego wasn't battered by it. Actually, oddly, it wasn't. I don't think I really have a huge compettitive side. I think such urges largely only ever hold people back. You know, if you consider that the goal of my life is to get away with doing as little work as possible while managing to f#ck about as much possible. Getting all compettitive about things sort of ruins that mantra.

I'm confused though. I bowl with my right hand. I'm left handed but I bowl with my right hand. Also, I play the guitar with my right hand. I -ahem- have special moments with my right hand. If I were to punch someone* I'd do it with my right hand. Most things in life I use my right hand for, except for writing. What does it all mean?

It's very possible that I'm not really left handed at all. As a kid I was very contrary by nature. I can quite believe that I'd have thought to myself - "oh, so it's not common to be left handed is it? Well, I'll be left handed then, that'll show them". From that point onwards it's possible that I just learned to write with my left hand and have taken it for granted ever since. I used to do things like that as a kid. Actually I still do. It's a major character trait. The majority go one way and I can't help but go the other.

It's sort of odd that I'm not gay**. I think I would be if I didn't dislike the idea so much. Just to be different. Perhaps it's an elaborate double turn. Most of the gay people I know are really tidy and dress in fashionable clothes though. Not something I have the discipline for. And they have sex with men. Not something I think I could stomach. Stubble is bad news for a kick off. I don't know how women put up with it. Then the idea of not having and lady bits to play with. What a drag that'd be.

This blog entry has gone into a bit of a weird area, I realise this and am going to stop typing before things get any worse.

Here's a video of a bloke with no arms winning a swimming race. Don't you just love the internet?


*Unlikely as I'm pretty rubbish at fighting. Never been a fan of it really. Unless we're including Ninjas in the equation. Me and my best mate at school were abso-f#cking-lutely obsessed with Ninjas at school. There's little doubt that they rock.

**Reader's voice: "Hur Hur, you're telling me Nick, beaten by girls?" That was you that was. God I used to hate it when they did that in The Beano, or more frequently in The Dandy. Am I right in saying that The Dandy was for the thick kids? I think I am.


Popular Posts