I am slightly stunned by the world. Yesterday I rang BT to ask about my phone bill. I'd forgotten that ment auditioning for the Krypton Factor as you try to get through to a human voice. Infuriating.
On my third attempt I remembered hearing about some sort of website that was compiling backdoors and cheats round automated phonesystems. A websearch found this dedicated website; www.gethuman.com. However it appears to have a US focus. In the end it was TV's accident prone clumsy f#ckwit Richard Hammond who came to the rescue, sort of. There was a little section on a site from his god awful ITV show here which explained how to get round BT's phone system. You keep pressing "*". It works as well. Straight through to a normal person. Even when it told me "this shortcut is not available", just press "*" again and off we go. Brilliant. I'm glad he didn't die after all.
Still, I was annoyed at the way a big company thought it was okay to hide behind an automated phone system. I think I'd like to install one in my house. I'd have a lot of fun listening to the c#nts* getting a taste of their own medicine as they ring to ask me if I want cheaper car insurance or whatever.
Then I went off to Meadowhall with Matt Mackay and actually managed to make one of my temples explode. There sat on the counter of a shop was a packet of crisps which cost £1. One pound? What the fu#k? In the words of the late Bill Hicks; 'did I miss a meeting'? £1? For a bag of crisps. I couldn't believe it.
"A quid? A quid for a bag of crisps?"
I could see Matt glaring at me imploring me not to make a fuss. He's an easy going chap and he didn't want to cause a scene. I was absolutely ready to ruck. In other circumstances I would have kicked off about it. Not because I wanted to buy them but because such a price is immoral. Totally immoral.
It really has wound me up.
I ended up going on about it on my radio show and getting calls from people who had seen crisps for £1.50! This is a normal bag of crisps we're talking about here. £1.50!
The world is both an awful and wonderful place. As evidence for the latter I'd cite the following YouTube video which tells a true story:
Can't see it? Here's the direct link.
I learned about this through Harvey The Pooka's blog which I read from time to time. It's worth a scan after you've watched the video. There's a permanent link in the sidebar. It's one of the few blogs advertised there which still gets updated.
I must admit I'm a little bit dissapointed that so few people get round to updating their blogs. The internet is a revolution on the same level as the invention of the printing press but, unlike other mass media it allows for a two way conversation. The mainstream is absolutely fu#king sh#tting itself at the idea that anyone will be able to communicate anything to anyone very soon. I wonder if their fears are misplaced? How many will take this opportunity? How long will it last? I'm rambling. The hug video has put me in an odd mood.
Speaking of rambling, this reverse speech site is good. I've linked there before I think but it's been updated since.
*Here I'm using the word cu#ts to mean anyone who rings up trying to sell me anything ever. Could be BT. Could be a load of other companys. They're all c#nts.