Wasted the whole day.

I'm cr#pping myself about my forthcoming brief stand-up appearance. I go through the following cycle, practice a bit, look through my material. Get really nervous. Stop doing it. Faff about. Get nervous and decide to practice again. I need to get hold of my mind a little more. I'm also having conversations with people where they're saying "oh I'll have to pop down to that, sounds good" and I'm thinking, "no way, not a chance". I'm just not good enought yet to invite friends along to see me. Obviously there will be a few people I know there but no one who doesn't know exactly what to expect.

One of my hilarious jokes is as follows:

"Couple of facts which I heard recently. Apparently we're less likely nowadays to make friends with people these days because of the internet and that. Sad that. Lets not makes that the case in this room. Do us a favour shake hands with the person sat next to you and say hello*. 'nother thing I've heard is that 80% of people don't wash their hands after going to the toilet... This is apparently a leading cause of most diseases."

I'm wiping a tear of laughter from my eye as I write.

I'm screwed.

That joke actually has never failed to get a luagh yet. So, I've only done it three times but, y'know. Erm.

"There are three kinds of laughter; genuine laughter, sympathy laughter and ... no laughter".

It's another hilarious banker.

I shouldn't really write my blog when I'm nervous like this.



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