Don't allow them to put a label on you. Don't be an X Y or Z.

You know when you hear a tune that you've not heard for ages and you just can't help but sing along? For that moment you're transported back to the first moment you heard it and you throw caution to the wind and chime in with the words. Mumbling them in places, sure, perhaps not always in tune with the music but certainly giving it all you've got and loving every second. Living in the moment.

That happened to me today and it was an awesome feeling! There I was caught up in the music, singing away to myself and unfortunately everyone else in the gym. I was wrapped up in my little MP3 bubble again and I'd totally forgotten that I was in a room full of people. The only reason I noticed is because everyone turned and looked round at me with an expression which said, "what the hell is wrong with you?".

I was so embarrassed that I almost fell off my exercise bike.

Obviously I shut up immediately and then swiftly slunk off into the weights room. I never usually go in there but I decided to pretend to lift some loads, move some metal and pull some pounds.

Or whatever it is these sweaty thugs* do in here.

Now my exercise sheet says that on the shoulder press I'm supposed to do 5 kg. That's the lowest possible weight? In fact it doesn't involve putting any weights on the thing at all. I'll look like a proper wimp infront of all these thugs. Madness. I'll pop another few on there, must be a misprint. I can probably do about 30kg's.


Bloody hell, I don't usually make that noise. My arms really hurt. I'll take those weights off and do it. Ouch, it still really hurts! And I look like a wimp. F#ck's sake. B#llocks to this.

I fill up my water bottle and go back into the bike and treadmill room. Soon I'm back in my MP3 bubble but my shoulders still really hurt. Then oddly enough a little later on my batteries run out and then, and this is true, I overhear some bloke talking to himself and singing. "Aha, he's done the same thing as me," I think and turn round to give him a sort of knowing look. Unfortunately that look landed on the face of a bloke who actually seemed to just be a bit mad, I think. Unlike me he wasn't wearing any headphones. He was just sort of shouting and muttering to himself while looking quite confused and very sweaty. He started swearing a little and then left.


*It's just thuggish in my mind. I've got a terrible bunch of stereotypes in my mind about the sort of people who work out in these weight lifting rooms. I imagine them all to be thick, vain and self important. I think the reason I believe this is because of kids TV and cheap films from the 80's. Most of them seem normal enough, apart from the odd weirdo freak pumping away.


Neil Porter said…
Thuggish indeed. I do weights and have never been accused of being thick, vain or self important. I am however strong and not fat. Of course these two things help me enormously in life as you might imagine.

I've often thought as I've read your struggles with being a fatty that you ought to take up building some muscle. It would help no end mon pote.

So finally I've found an ideal post under which to offer the advice, start doing weights - and I don't mean poncing about with bicep curls either. Big compound movements like the shoulder press you were having difficulties with. Go back to the gym and get a good weights routine. If you are going to stick to the bike or running machine then at least look into HIIT.

In fact doing both would be ideal, with or without your mp3 player.
Nicholarse said…
But it sounds like hard work! I'm not sure I want to actually do any hard work. Ever.

That said I'll look into HIIT. I think we used to do something like that at Karate years ago.


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