Judge Dredd ate my hamster

Good lord I was tired this morning. It's because I've been going to the gym a lot recently. My girlfriend told me that when I go I should "feel the burn" so I've been doing more than I usually do there this last few weeks. When you're wrapped up inside your MP3 bubble like I am though it's hard to notice.

While I was there I saw some twonk doing headspins in the corner of the room. It annoyed me, for no good reason. I think I was either jealous of him or I was just annoyed at the idea of someone doing something so silly. Not sure which. Probably the latter as in reality I don't think I'd want to go doing things like that.

A large part of me wanted to walk up to him and push him over. It was a really strong irrational urge. Obviously I managed not to. The fact it would have hurt him put me off the idea a bit. That and the fact that he'd surely then dish out a sound beating to me once he realised what had happened.

The thing I've noticed about the gym is that there seems to be two distinct types of people who go there. The uber-people and the sluggish people. The uber-people are trim and fit superbodies who live in that otherworld which I only occasionally glimpse. The world where no one is fat or boring and the only TV anyone bothers with is lightweight and mainstream. They drive in big posh cars and have massive f#ck off houses. They like going shopping for clothes and watch football. You know the type.

Then there's the sluggish geeks who go there. They're looking in the mirror at a body which has had its best days already. It's taken a beating in terms of food and abuse and it'll never look good again but still the sluggish people go to the gym in the vain hope that one day this will be different. They pretend that the ubers aren't there as they listen to their MP3 players and dream of what they're going to eat when they leave the gym.

There's no inbetween! Not at the moment anyway. It's pre-christmas and only the hardcore are going at the moment. Occasionally a normal person will accidently go but they don't stick it. It's just the uber-people and slugwarts. Battling it out. Looking at each other with contempt.

The bloke doing a headspin was an uber. Actually, make that c#nt. The bloke doing a headspin was a c#nt.

NM

Here's someone doing a headspin. Tell me that's not the behaviour of a c#nt.



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