"She tried to kill me. Just like that. Didn't work though. Jack's a smart one." he coughed into the night.

I've added a new poll to the siderbar. It's about the attacks on the twin towers and is my attempt at seeing how many of the 'tinfoil hat brigade'* read this blog. I'm a bit of a conspiracy theory fan but it's easy to drift out of touch with reality when following such ideas, David Icke being a classic example.

I feel obliged to explain that it's about the twin towers because in a moment of madness I decided to go against the fashion of favouring the American style of formatting the dates and went instead with our own. 11/9 is how it should be written. In retrospect it looks a little churlish to write it in the correct fashion and I sort of think I should have done it the wrong way round. I hope no one thinks I'm being disrespectful by sticking to our conventions.

I think I'm a little out of touch with my fellow primates. I've been trying to write some more stand-up recently after my awful stab at it last month. The new stuff I'm trying to fashion is about how I wished Kylie would die of cancer. I'm not trying to make jokes about people dying of cancer. I'm trying to write something which makes a joke about the fact that I ever thought it in the first place. It's a tricky bit to write but it's honest. I'm trying to steer away from just telling a joke, pausing and waiting to see what the reaction is and then telling another joke. That's not why I'm trying to get into stand-up.

Everyone I've mentioned it to has been horrified, apart from my friend Tom Binns who hasn't yet replied to my email about it. Perhaps unlike everyone else he'll think it's a great idea. I doubt it but you never know. I've posted a video of his mate Ivan doing a live gig recently. If you follow the link below it you'll find a myspace site full of stuff. I still feel myspace is in some way wrong and refuse to sign up myself.

The results of the last poll I posted on here which asked the question, how many times do you read this site, were as follows:

54% said they look at it everyday, 25% said they check it out every other day and the remaining 13% said they looked about once every three days with 8% looking once a week.

Quite an interesting result, for me, as it suggests we have a reasonable huddle of readers here nowadays if you go by the day to day stats. This is no mean feat considering the link via the Hallam FM website appears to have been deleted! I only just noticed last night when someone emailed me to ask why. The fact I didn't notice a significant drop in traffic is quite a surprise**.

Now a few months ago I'd have probably said the reason they'd deleted it was because they were going to sack me soon*** but oddly last night I learned an interesting lesson about positive thinking. I was sat there doing my show and reading out a story about a dog which has been stopped from catching the bus to the pub. As I sat there looking at the texts coming through on the computer the following one popped up onto my screen:

Cant u stop makin stupid stories up bout dogs wer not botherd? Put sum records on and play them all the way thru. The saint

Now a few months ago I'd have tried to ignore this but ultimately would have let it get to me. At the moment though I'm in a pretty positive mood and so I decided to ring the guy up. Turns out he was a really funny bloke who was just mucking about with his mates and apparently enjoying the show. I recorded the call and put it out on air. It made for a good bit of radio as he challenged me on air about the truth of this news story I was doing. I liked him and he called in later for the midnight mindbender feature.

I guess the moral of the story is that a good 50% of your life experience is determined by your attitude towards it. If you approach things with a positive mindset they're more likely to go well than if you don't. Urrgh. I'm pumping out trite nonsense there aren't I? Stating the f#cking obvious. Still it's a lesson I enjoyed re-learning and if you're at the start of your day today try and apply it, see what happens. Maybe even post the results in the comments section.

Part of my positive mood is down to the meeting I had today with my (still relatively new) boss. He's got some great ideas about stuff and it's exciting to have a fresh perspective on things at work.


Ivan Brackenbury - Hospital Radio Roadshow part II

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I don't know if the above HTML code will have worked so this bit is a good old fashioned link.

*An amusing expression used by Neil in the comments section of the post I'm linking to.

**I can't think of a way of thanking people for reading this site without being cheesy so f#ck it, here's a nice cheesey thankyou. It's nice of you to pop by. So, thanks.

***This is a joke, if you work for The Sheffield Star and are looking for a scoop, I'm contracted for a while yet so there's no exclusive here. Not yet anyway. Give it time.


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