(Sunday) There but for the grace of goth I go

I think the reason I used to believe I liked fireworks is that as a kid I mainly used to watch them through the back room window of our house. Every November the 5th my parents used to offer me the following deal; bonfire night OR a new toy instead. I'd usually go for the toy. My favourite of the lot was a Spiderman throwing star with little suckers on it. Ahh, happy days.

When I got too old for toys I started going along to some of these firework displays people used toeee. B~llocks.*

When I got too old for toys I started going to bonfire night parties. Turns out they're rubbish. You stand there in the cold, pay about £4 for a toffee apple which sticks to your hair and then spend the rest of the night worrying that somethings going to land on your head. Then, after you've dodged some stupid toddler who's waving a sparkler perilously close to eye level as their Dad carries them around, you go home feeling cold and a little deflated.

Fireworks look okay but make annoyingly loud bangs. They're also f#cking dangerous. Loads of people hurt themselves every year because of this inane custom of ours. Usually because some bloke is trying to do his own firework display for the family in their back yard. I wonder how many halfwitted alpha males gave their loved ones a night to remember by dazzling them with the sight of a firework stuck in their eye socket? Bound to be a few.

The truth is that fireworks are best enjoyed through the window of a backroom, like this one here:

I took that picture today as me and my girlfriend occasionally looked out and went, "woo, look fireworks". That's the only response you can really give to them. Going outside to stand with a load of people you don't really know so you can say those three words doesn't really do it for me.

If I had my way I'd outlaw the whole thing.

Apart from bonfire toffee, that's quite nice.

On a totally different tack, I am of the opinion that this guy is what's known as a "f#cking legend". I'd see him promoted for this little swift display of justice. Over two million people have enjoyed his moment of clarity in our mad little world.

Angry Proffessor, direct link.


*I'm going to leave the above typo thing in. It occurred because my keyboard has given up. The "E" letter on it has decided that every now and then it's going to literally jump out of its place and land on the floor. How it's managing to do that I do not know. I'm clearly going to have to buy a new keyboard. That's annoying. However this blog serves as a nice little record of my keyboard's healthy lifespan, I got my computer around June. It's had 5 months of healthy life. Not long really.


jodester said…
your keyboard will come with a 12 month warranty - try and take it back for a free replacement BEFORE next june... ; )

Popular Posts