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(Tuesday) The only possible constant rule in this universe is the one that dictates change. It cannot be changed without enforcing itself

I spent the whole day recovering from my work Xmas party, an odd occasion which included lots of drinks and these two chaps on the left; a Blues Brothers' tribute act. All in all the party went well and was fun despite the fact that I don't actually know some of the people who work at Hallam FM these days because I come in in the middle of the night, so I don't see them. The hangover which followed it though was f#cking awful. I woke up with a profound sense of guilt, gloom and worry. It must have been because I was mixing my drinks because there's no evidence I had anything to feel bad about. I remember nailing a glass of red wine and thinking how nice it tasted, "ooh, why don't I usually drink this, it's lovely!". The truth of the matter was that I'd lost my sense of taste because I was w#nkered.

The odd thing about feeling cruddy in the morning like that though is I have no rational explanation for where or why this sense of guilt I get comes from. I always feel a very real powerful sense of unfocused remorse. It's just habit, I think, left over from the days when I used to get drunk and act like an ar#ehole to people. They're long gone now though, so I really had nothing to feel guilty about. It's just a direct consequence of the alcohol. It's a mind bending drug. It's easy to forget that. Particularly when you're guzzling a big glass full of it.

My girlfriend came over from Manchester for it and she made the very sensible decision to drink water towards the end of the night. Apparently as I drifted off to sleep I was talking b#llocks to her about life the universe and everything. I hope I didn't say anything too stupid to her. Perhaps I did and that's where the remorse comes from?

On Friday why not give yourself a massive orgasm and then say a prayer for world peace?

There's a plan for you. This website here has more details. The idea is to have an orgasm and then during the meditative state which follows direct your psychic energy towards world peace. This Friday is apparently Solstice Day, the organisers are happy for you to do it at anytime during the day. The post orgasmic state has often been seen as a time when your psychic powers are at their highest. It's for that reason that sexual rituals have always been a part of occult practices.

I remember reading something about this when I was researching Sygil Witchcraft, as put forward here by Grant Morrison. He believed the best way to cast a spell was to focus on it right after you've had an orgasm. A "sygil" incidently is a little logo which only has to hold meaning for its author. Some people believe they are used by corporations and that this in part explains the odd corporate logos which you often see being branded about all over the place. There's quite an interesting story here actually, in that I believe Robbie Williams has gone on to use Sygil Witchcraft recently. I may be wrong but if you look at the cover to his album "Intensive Care" you'll notice an odd image on his index finger which looks to me like a Sygil. The picture is here. It was reported at the time that Grant Morrison had helped Robbie Williams design the cover of that album. Too many co-incidences there for me, but no official word on it. Certainly I'm not aware of Mr Williams talking openly about indulging in Crowley inspired magik. I imagine that's because people would, perhaps rightly, think he was a nutter.

NM

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