It's all very exciting. (Thursday)

While waiting in the queue for the bar at the Phil Nichol show me and my girlfried went to over the weekend I witnessed what is known as "a c#ck". What makes the incident play through my mind so frequently is that it was "a c#ck" bumping up against a very droll Manchester lady who'd clearly met his like before.

The woman in question was serving from behind the bar and was using an intercom to request more staff come to help her out. The bloke in question, a chubby odd looking chap with curly locks and thick glasses, decided to make a big scene and shout;

"Ha ha, 'over and out'! Eh? Eh? 'Over and out'. Ha ha!".

He did it in such a way that you'd have thought he was berrating her to a sympathetic audience of like-minded friends but there wasn't one nearby. It might be that he'd been in the company of mates who he didn't realise had f#cked off and left him to his own devices. Or it might be that he just thought everyone else in the crowd stood round the bar would share his incredulity as regarded he use of an intercom.

It was a really odd moment. What did he expect? Everyone who was waiting for this little old lady to serve them, to rally round his crap attempts at boorish humour? It was a really odd silence that followed as everyone either tried their best to ignore his loudly boasted comments or wondered as I did why he'd made them in the first place.

Then came the thick Mancunian drawl of the woman behind the bar, laced with beautiful northern sarcasm and world weary grit; "you should be up on stage luv".

Next thing he knew Matey was being openly and loudly laughed at by pretty much everyone stood at the bar. He'd put so much effort into attracting attention to himself that everyone there was waiting for a conclusion to the narrative he'd begun. That ending was simple; his humiliating defeat and wholesale mockery. He slunk off looking like a total c#ck. It was beautiful. It served him right, he'd been trying to bully the woman behind the bar, she'd taken him up to the top rope and headslammed him into the canvass.

Game set and match.

I keep thinking of it. Very funny. Proof that sometimes in life justice can be served.

NM

Comments

Popular Posts