Recently I did some stand-up comedy where I was totally unable to respond to the heckle: "you're sh#t". Minutes later I was booed off the stage, a humilliated and beaten man. Now the same thing is happening all over again only this time it's online. This morning I discovered that a Swiftian wit has jumped all over one of my YouTube entries with the following brutal line: "your f#ckin retarded".
After a few hours of thinking about it I managed to come up with this clever retort: "I do wish you'd stop posting... Mother". Woo! I think you'll agree, that's pretty hilarious. He's not really my mother at all!
Afterwards I went and checked out his videos and discovered that he was an outstanding guitar player! He'd suffered the same fate as me though, with various posters putting little sarcastic comments like "you rock dude" and "wow - you're amazing" in the comments sections of his videos. In an attempt to redress the balance and jumped to his defence with the following comment - "You two should stop being so sarcastic! I think he's doing really well".
And he is.
See for yourself:
The guy is obviously a genius. Granted, he's playing someone else's music, but when has that ever stopped someone, who looks as cool as he does, from climbing fame's greasy pole? I'd say he's easily up there with Herman's Hermits or Gerry and The Pacemakers.
I preserve this thought because I've just had to delete and re-load the video which he put his "retarded" post onto. It kept b#ggering up. If possible go on his account and tell him how amazing he is at guitar will you?