Draw a line through that with a pencil (Sunday)

It amazes me what an idiot I am. Firstly, today, I present my Mum with a Mother's Day card with the legend: "To my Wife on Mother's Day". I only noticed when she took it out of the envelope. It cost me £5 that card and it made me look like the fool I am. Why would you have a Mother's Day card which says "To My Wife" on sale anywhere other than in America's deep south? Livid. Not only that but it was one of those cards with loads of pages to it, so I read the inside bit thought, "ah, cool ,that's what we want" turns out there's a whole essay written inside it on the other pages which I didn't even notice.

Who really reads cards anyway? Its a standard bit of written bumpf that has been printed for loads of other people on a machine. I'm making my own card next time.

Then I get totally lost on the way back and spend about 5 hours driving up and down motorways clueless as to which way I'm supposed to be going. It's the most fratrating experience in the world. Pure impotent rage! Arrgh!! I'm lost!!! You can't express it to anyone without them finding it a bit funny. Particualrly if you're totally on your own and have to ring them and tell them you're lost.

Then there is nothing more likely to increase your rage and bitterness agains the human race than drivers who smugly look at you as you try to get into a different lane. "Pah - I'm not letting you out, you should have thought of that sooner shouldn't you?" their faces seem to say. "Yes, but I'm f#cking lost so cut me some slack you twonk," I'd like to be able to say back but unfortunately my facial muscles aren't articulate enough. You can give yourself cramp trying to gurn that message over.

All in all a really irritating day.



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