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thecultofnick

Tin cans and opel dreams.

An ITV film crew are due to pop round my house next week. They're making a series of documentaries about people who write blogs and the way in which the internet affects their lives. They're going to do a "screentest" round at my house to document my dabblings in stand up comedy. They've seen the video of me performing at The Frog And Bucket and they know that I'm a slightly "hit and miss" comedian.

Currently I'm walking a real tightrope with this blog, what with everything I'm sorting out workwise. It's really difficult not to hint at some of the things that I might soon be doing. The reason I can't hint is because none of them are in the bag yet and therefore they might not happen. Also, me blogging about them would make them even less likely to happen. It's a bit like this documentary thing, they're popping round my house to film me and do a "screentest". What if I fail the test of the screen? Well, the answer to that's obvious. They just don't include me in their documentary.

Apparently it would be a two month commitment. They'd be regualarly getting updates on my attempts to turn from being a sh#t comedian to a good one. When I first heard about it I presumed it'd be on some little Sky Channel somewhere. ITV though, that's pretty big isn't it? Perhaps if I play my cards right I'll end up a reality TV star, like that daft c#nt off Airport or whatever.

I get the feeling that would cost me quite a lot in the long run.

My relationship with television is an odd one. I actually turned down the chance to be on Tonight With Trevor McDonald when the talkshow was in its early stages a few years back. They wanted me to do a phone in about benefit fraud. In the end they used James Whale instead. I can't tell you how dissapointed my boss was at the time. Radio stations love being on telly. I've never been so sure. I always liked the idea of being on the radio but no one knowing what you looked like. You can be a voice not a face. Unfortunately that's all been a bit ruined by the internet where nowadays if you refuse to do a publicity shot, like I did with Hallam, they get really ars#y about it.

Anyway, for the moment it sounds like a fun idea, so, in order to make myself look more like "Mr TV" I've had my haircut. It's now really very short. So much so that my girlfriend hates it. She thinks I look like Action Man. "That's the price you pay for a £5 haircut!" she kept announcing to me. I actually think it looks alright. I particularly like the fact that it only cost £5.40p. That makes me feel good about life.

NM

5 comments:

Leather Face said...

It's all about were you want to take your career. I don't know you personally but I know you were a damn good talkshow host. You had the abillity to deal with all callers, from the wind-ups through to the serious plus taking in the fun topics and what I liked the most is how you encouraged off-topic calls.

If you want to make money you need to get on TV although I imagine that even TV wages are now watered down because of so much shi* on there.

I know you can't give stuff away because it spoils your chances of that new carer move (somthing I'v always found crazy but in a world of ordered chaos what isn't crazy?).

I just hope you return to phone-ins wheher on TV or Radio.

Lloydd said...

The only difference to being on TV rather than radio is that you will now force people into putting their hands over their eyes and ears, rather than just their ears. Get to it!

Jess said...

The problem about being on TV is that you might be a succsess , become a bit of a twat about that, a bit famous, and then what will you do ? Obviously you should do it , if you get the chance. It would be mental not to .The subject matter means its going to feature loads of numpties , so with a bit of luck you should shine out. Good luck with it if you get picked.

James Piekos said...

Get your house cleaned before they come round!

Nicholarse said...

An amusing mix of responses. I'll obviously keep blogging about this one, as it's about the blog and is quite a funny thing. I'm also pretty sure it's not commercially sensitive.

NM

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