Post number 501 (Wednesday)

I lost a pound and a half at weight watchers today. Odd really because I've not really been sticking to it that much and I had the week off last week. What I have been doing is following the Tony Robbins Get The Edge programme and trying to Unleash The Power Within. Every bit as cheesy as it sounds, this is a self improvement programme designed by "the irony slayer" himself, Mr Anthony Robbins. If you've ever sat looking bleakly into the television at night watching "infomercials" you'll be more than familiar with his big teeth and wacky nonsense.

If not, it's hard to explain the deal really. One of the practical upshots of it is this; today I went jogging. I've been exercising every morning as part of my "hour of power" and today I couldn't make it in the the gym so I pulled on my trainers and sports gear and ran out into the cold unhealthy morning. Now, to start with, your hour of power involves walking and doing various breathing exercises while you listen on your headphones to Tony's inspiring words. You're encouraged to get grateful and then visualise success. As I was doing this I walked to the bottom of a proper Sheffield hill. One of those ones where you'd benefit from a ladder.

"Ha, I jog for ages in the gym, this hill will be a great start to my exercise session once Tony tells me to unleash the power!" I thought to myself.

"Right, it's time to start your incantations and exercise," said Tony and off I went, like a rocket.

"Everyday in every way, I'm getting stronger and stronger" I chanted "all I need is within me now, all I need is within me now".

Unfortunately it was about four minutes until I was totally f#cked. The cold air on my lungs and the sharp hill being the two things I remember most clearly. Still with Tony's optimistic chanting ringing in my ears and the mighty music playing underneath I literally clutched my own heart and came to a total standstill.

Lesson learned: gym jogging is a piece of p#ss compared to the real thing.

NM

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