In all the years this blog has been going I don't think I've ever touched upon the "How Are We" phenomenon. Just before I started writing this entry I had a quick search through, a little stunned that I'd not even mentioned it, not even in passing. There's not even little hints. I've never actually used the phrase here before now! That's genuinely amazing. Let me explain...
Back at my old workplace me and some friends discovered the phrase "How Are We". It was an instant hit amongst us but, like all good catchphrases, it needed to be said in quite a specific fashion: "Mmm... How Are We?".
For years the phrase was confined to just a small group of people but, like all great catchphrases, it started to spread as people moved out of our immediate social circle and on to other parts of the UK. The migration of the phrase seemed to take on a life of its own as other people who we'd never met appropriated it for themselves.
Initially me and my friends didn't know how to take this. It was a bit annoying at first because we felt like it was our catchphrase. However, over time, the following possibility started to dawn on us: wouldn't it be great to live in a world where everone has heard our catchphrase? How great would that be? People up and down the globe greeting each other with a nice friendly "How Are We?". Trust me, it'd be amazing.
After that we all went into overdrive, we rang up radio stations and TV shows just to say "How Are We" at the beginning. We convinced one of our Dads to put it into a headline in a newspaper, which he did. We wrote a song called "The How Are We Song" and we sang it down the phone to the radio station "The Big L". Despite the fact we were all of us p#ssed as farts they still played it out to all their listener.
Now the next stage of the "How Are We" revolution must begin. I've created a "How Are We" YouTube video and an email address: firstname.lastname@example.org. I need people to film themselves on their camera phones doing a nice high quality "How Are We". Best case scenario is you're in the pub with a load of people and they're all saying it in unison. Or whatever. Actually, best case scenario is I get more than one video sent over to me. I'm sure there'll be some people who have camera phones and drink in pubs with their mates.
The more "How Are We"'s I can get, the better.
Also, make sure you tell us whereabouts the "How Are We" is being performed. We're aiming for world domination!
Here's how it's done: