I've been practicing my comedy today. I'm going to try and add a bit of "umph" to it this time. Not flounder about onstage so much. I've decided to start with the following line:
"Later on I'm going to be talking to you about Marvin Gaye and his song sexual healing...
Frowned upon nowadays in most NHS hospitals...
Pity, coz it used to work...
It's political correctness gone mad.
Still Marvin comes from a more innocent time, back in the days when Gay meant homosexual
And Marvin wasn't a name to be ashamed of."
I think that'll get a laugh, it's a line I've used before on the radio. Got a nice twist to it. I'm not sure though, I don't really think Marvin is a name to be ashamed of. It's a bit like the situation with the fat girl who heckled me. After that I'm going to go into my drugs material and then go into the Jamie Oliver stuff. I'm really hopeful that this time I'll finally Beat That F#cking Frog!*
I'm slightly worried though that this time I'm not nervous, at all. The last time I wasn't nervous at all, this happened: I was booed offstage in a merciless manner. I massive wave of nerves hit me full on in the face as soon as I went onstage. The whole thing c#cked up really, really, badly. But there's nothing I can do. I can't make myself nervous. I can only prepare and hope it goes well.
Actually, I just felt a twinge of nerves then. That's good.
In other news I'm getting a few emails through about my brilliant podcast. It's officially brilliant and has listeners. I'll shout about it even more when we hit the treble figures mark. DOWNLOAD IT HERE.
*It seems silly to keep explaining this but this blog gets two or three new readers each day so here goes:
I do most of my gigs at "Gong Shows" where you get as much time as the audience are willing to put up with. Three people in the audience are given cards; they hold 'em up when they're bored. If all three cards go up you're taken off the stage. Although this sounds harsh I think it's a pretty good way to learn and I'm eternally grateful to the people who organise them, particularly the excellent one at Beat The Frog. Wanna see me failing? Here's the link to the YouTube video: CLICK HERE.