Today I finally moved out of my old flat in Sheffield. It was an odd moment when I realised as I drove away that I'd never again live with my old mate Matt Mackay. We've lived together for about four and a half years now and all of that came to an end today. Ruined.
I'm really tired out from lugging all my stuff into a big white van, it's like the time me and Matt moved in our three piece suite.
Furthermore I'm losing credibility with my "fans". Edge081 on YouTube has savaged my "wacky" excitement and enthusiasm for the phrase "How Are We" on this video here. I've tried to come back at him with an eyebrow raising suggestion that actually the "How Are We Videos" are something profound but I don't know if he's* bought it or not.
And finally I'm all set to do one of the toughest and most brutal gong shows in the UK. It's at The Comedy Store this Sunday in Manchester. On average you usually get about 30seconds to a minute before you get "gonged off". It's a bit like the Beat The Frog thing but, like I say, far more brutal. I'm going to open with the piece of material that brought my last jaunt onstage to an end.
*Phone-in fans: check his profile it's got more phone in audio on it. Some of it's quite good.