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Modern colemnts

Finally I move into my new flat. I've got hardly anything in there in terms of furniture and clothes but nontheless I do now have a base. It's about time. I've been p#ssing about commuting from Manchester and staying in Travellodges for ages. I spend the night looking out over the new City which I'm joining. As I do so I spy a very odd thing. There on the top of one of the buildings is an eye. A big eye on a giant screen looking about and blinking every now and then. The screen looks like the sort of thing that you'd use to advertise Coca Cola and so forth but instead it's got a big f#cking eye on it.

Classic illuminati symbolism. I'm in shock as I look at it. There must be a rational explanation. How odd. There it is staring me in the face. I must be loosing my mind. I video it on my camera phone and then drift off into an uneasy sleep.

It's not that I believe in all the conspiracy theory stuff but being aware of it means you do end up noticing a lot of stuff. Thing slike that freak you out. Big eyes watching you at night. I'm losing my mind.


Just because the hill is high doesn't mean I can't climb it.

It's good to be living in the same city as my old mate Lloyd. We went and watched Alabama 3 tonight. They were good but I know that I'm getting old. The reason I know this is because I've got less and less tolerance for people who push past me. It really annoys me when people decide that the gangway is right next to me. How and why the f### does that always happen?

As regards the band; they were good. Nice beat to their tunes and I knew more of their songs than I expected to. The venue felt nice and small. I watched in awe as my mate Lloyd took about 40 minutes to get served at the bar. He was stood there resting on the bar and the staff totally ignored him. I thought that was only something that happened to me. Lloyd takes being ignored to a whole new level though.

Once the gig was done I went back to my Travellodge. My flat's not ready yet. I should be moving in tomorrow.


(Tuesday) Films fly

I watched my mate Toby Foster storm it tonight at a club in Manchester called XS Malarkey. The club itself is one of those nice little independant comedy clubs that manage to exist outside of the Jongulers world booking alternative acts as well as the mainstream. I've never quite worked out where Toby Foster sits as a comedian. Is he mainstream or alternative? I imagine it's exactly the sort of question he'd balk at.

The club was celebrating an anniversary. I think it was 10 years but I might be wrong. It was packed out as a consequence but nontheless I was still surprised when old school legend Jimmy Cricket pushed his way past me with a polite "scuse me there, thanks, etc". He was making his way towards the stage! Bonkers. Jimmy Cricket playing an alternative Manchester comedy venue. He was good as well. Not (if I'm honest) as good as Toby was but it was so surreal to see that I couldn't help but laugh. There's no reason why acts like that shouldn't be able to gig alongside everyone else.

Following on from him we had Mark Steel. He was good but didn't quite grab me in the same way as the previous two acts. Great presence, good material and fantastic delivery just not quite exciting enough. The atmosphere in the club was fantastic though and I was excited to be there.


Jumping James . . . (24th. Monday)

It's difficult not to be in awe as regards the price of parking in Birmingham. Kerrang sits just on the very edge of the premium parking rate zone so if you f#ck up you pay a fortune. My senior producer has already been fined a couple of times for not having a ticket or having one that runs out on him.

Land ownership is the root of all social inequality. Parking is one of my pet hates. I've blogged about it in the past here, here, here and here. Oh and over here. You could say it's a bit of a pet hate. I even tried to launch an exciting political campaign about it once but it never quite took root.

The fact that here in Birmingham you pay, for example, £1.80 but still get no change from £2 is actually stealing. And that, my friend is the work of a c#nt.


(Sunday) I scroot for you.

I absolutely hate rubbish call centres. This website is bloody good. It features various recorded conversations between p#ssed off people and the conversations they have with people in rubbish call centres. Go and have a scan, my personal favourite is the person who works in Royal Mail who flips out when told she's being recorded. Lovely stuff:

Here's a bit of advice for you. If you're ever faced with a call centre situation and you're making a complaint, tell them you're recording the call anyway. Even if you're not. Also, tell them you work at a radio station. If you do they suddenly become considerably more polite and efficient than usual.

Don't let the f#ckers grind you down.


Killing me hardly.

I remember getting my first gig at Oak FM. I was really excited to finally have a radio show. The crunch moment came quite early on. The Programme Controller sat me down and dished out the following speech:

"Right, Nick, I like your stuff. You're good at what you do but you're going to have to make a few changes if you want to work in commercial radio. First of all, from now on, you are a salesman. Nick Margerrison is a brand. When you're on air you're selling the brand Nick Margerrison. You've always got to think, what will people take away from what I've just said about brand Nick Margerrison? Good radio is where you sell that brand and make people think, 'okay, I like that brand'".

I was horrified at this little speech. What about being creative and doing funny things and stuff?

"You're job is to create a brand that makes people listen longer".

How dull it all seemed. I was crestfallen. "Oh and by the way, you'll need to change your name to Rick. We've already got a Nick on the station, people will get confused. Good commercial radio always keeps things simple".

And that was it, I was called Rick.

Thank f#ck that didn't work out.


Underscore, hash.

Today we did our first interview. The show is going to have three a night so we're doing a few pre-recorded ones now before we go on air. It was weird to be doing the show but not yet having it on air. I felt like I didn't quite have my Kerrang voice yet. The interview in question was with this bloke:

He's supposed to be the Mr Motivator of finance. I spent most of the rest of the day editing and re-editing the thing wondering exactly what tack I'm going to take with the show. I think I want it to be sincere but in a simmilar vein to the old Hallam phone in show. Largely though I'm working in the dark. Also, I'm not housed in Birmingham yet. I'm doing a commute from Manchester. Either that or spending time in a Travellodge like Alan Partridge.


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