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Modern combents

Take time off air because of a Warchild special. It feels like a mistake.

Open the birth

My Dad bought a cheap guitar from a car boot sale. He's put some strings on it today, I realise I prefer nylon strings.

Lick the leaves

Have decided I want to be on one of those sh#t list shows, like I LOVE 1986 or something. Watched one of the weekend and decided they're really scraping the bottom of the barrel nowadays.

Kippers and blood

Realised that I've chipped one of my teeth. Things like this always remind me of my own mortality.

Previous dentist based entries.

And here.

Jumping doh

Recovering from a mate of mine's leaving do. He's off round the world and his blog, which is brilliant, is here.


Do boring stuff like, ring the water board and the electricity company. Settling in to Birmingham a bit.

Underscore hash plus pears equals nosh

Did a great interview with Dan from The Feeling. He's their lead singer and he was up for a bit of nonsense.

I'm hacking away at the backlog even though...

Spoke in detail about anorexia with Lorraine Dumbill, someone who used to suffer from the illness. She got to the point where she was eating an apple a day and as she told us about it on air, tears welled up in her eyes.

Sometimes I think I'm...

Did an interview with Emma Thompson which went quite badly, managed to argue with her without meaning to. At the end of the interview she left her mic on in London and sounded off about what an "idiot" I was, without realising I could hear her.

Never EVER going to catch up...

Did an ISDN interview with Michelle McManus, she was great. Planned for the Warchild special which is coming up.

22nd... Skip to the end and a blur of activity...

Had problems lining up an ISDN interview, worried about that because we're using it for Alex Jones later on. Good comedian on the show, Rob MCConnell.


Me and Alex are bonding over our mutual hatred of Rugby and Football and sport in general. The Rugby particularly annoys me and I end up banging on about it on air.



I get the following text off a mate as regards a recent interview I did with uber-conspiracy theorist Alex Jones; "He brutalised u, old bean, but I think you managed to get a few repostes in. Did he drop off the air or did u have to dump him?"

The answer to his question is yes. I had to use the delay on Alex Jones, I censored him. Needed to cut out allegations made against Prince Philip.


19th Fribbleday

My local pub have been listening to the show - it's got the thumbs up. Oddly though this news makes me feel a little homesick and I end up missing The Bay.


18th Of the Munch...

Interview David Cronenburg, he's a film director but we only get about five minutes with the guy. The whole thing leaves me feeling a bit cold and stupid.


17th The grobbler and the grub.

Coming in early to do interviews is starting to take its strain but doing the show itself is still fun. Callers aren't really as assertive as I'm used to though, they're a bit meek - !


16th Of the mother bumph.

We have our first "creative meeting" but it's not really useful. Everyone in the team is still settling in to their roles behind the scenes.

15th Strike the match...

People I've not spoken to in years are listening to the show and getting in touch. It's nice and I'm still getting my head round the fact that Kerrang really is a big gig.


14th Of Fear...

Feels like I'm working a lot. Sexy Sunday's fast becoming my favourite day though, it feels like it has an identity.


13th Shingles

Spend a nice day in the countryside and see cows being milked. I want to live in a very big house in the country when I win the lottery.


12th Frumpy day

Get stuck in a motherf#cker of a traffic jam. Listening to Rick Shaw, who I really rate, calling it "Black Friday" for traffic.


11th of the delisious.

Getting in at really f#cking early times, like 1pm. There's been a big kick off behind the scenes about "Who are you and what do you want" but despite this we're keeping the feature.


Weds 10th of Naghill

Today we did an interview with Tim Minchin, it won't get aired for a while but it was great fun. The show is going well but we're still in the early stages of its development.

(Tuesday) 9th of Doom.

Had a comedian on the show called Robbie Alderson, it's always a bit of a fear getting a comedian on, will they be funny? The answer to that question, in this instance was, yes.


Under and over the mill

Decided to do blog updates which are only two sentences long, the reasoning being that I'm now more than a month behind on updates so I need to catch up.

Today we recorded the Fonejacker "Who are you and what do you want" interview, he dropped out of character half way through and we did a straight interview with him which was, frankly, fascinating.

First ever sexy Sunday.

We got a bloke on the show tonight from Loaded magazine to talk about chat up lines. It was a pre-recorded interview. He told us that, surprise, surprise, "chat up lines don't really work". I don't think I've ever heard that they do to be honest. We also had a model in the studio, with her big boyfriend standing in the corner watching closely. It was an odd show. I'm still very much getting used to being on air and in the new environment.

It's quite slow on calls at the moment and we're not really pushing that element of things. I'm trying really hard to avoid places like Digitalspy and so forth. I don't really need crit on the show just yet. I need to do a month or so of it first and then look at where I'm at.

Also, I'm getting very worried about how out of date this blog is. There's a massive increase in the numbers of people reading it but there's nothing new for them to read. These entries are inevitably going to be really f#cking short so for the moment I've upped the page displays to 5.


The suckler...

A mate of mine popped up this weekend. We talked about life the Universe and everything over a few swiftly consumed beers. We were also joined by radio's Dan Morfitt who is better known (now at least) as Kebab Van Dan.


Skizz is over rated.

Ye f#cking mother f#cking c#nting b#llocking c#nts! I'm walking back up towards my car, it's Friday but I'm at work because even though I'm not on air tonight it's do sh#t day. So, I'm walking up towards my car. Surely my eyes are decieving me, looks like there's a parking ticket on my car. How silly. I've got four hours booked in that space. Funny how the mind plays tricks. But, wait. No really. What the f#ck? I've got a ticket. B#llocks.

Surely, there must be some mistake? I wander up to the car in shock and look at my clearly displayed ticket right behind my PENALTY NOTICE. What the f#ck? I'm in shock. There's sh#te and there's sh#te.

Fueled by indignant rage I storm off and do what any angry Englishman does in such a situation. I write a stern letter. I then revise it a bit. I then re-write it to make it a bit more stern. I then sanitise it and finish up with a rather matter of fact account of things which frankly wouldn't offend anyone. I then post it.

Then I realise that the postal strike may affect things a bit. So I resolve to take decisive action about it next week. A resolution it's obvious I won't stick to.


Everybody's nowadays

The show now has its own blog. The updating of which is the responsibility of Amy (Junior) Jones. Click here to see it.

Tonight was the night I sent Tim the text. It felt like a good solid show tonight. We had two bands in both battling it out for supremacy. The results were decided by text. The band who lost seemed really miffed.

It's been a bizarre week. I don't feel tired but I am working flat out at the moment. We need to gather some momentum in terms of guests and as a consequence we're doing interviews during the day. As a result I was talking to Rageh Omar today. He detailed a harrowing story regarding two people haggling about the price of some kid they were selling, outside Selfridges. Nasty. Not sure when we'll air that interview, it was good though.


Snooze into your nibbles.

Still feels like I'm finding my feet with the show. I don't quite feel like I've found my "Kerrang" voice. I made a pact with Tim that as soon as I felt the show click I'd text him. I've not yet texted him. That's not to say that the show is awful, it's just not yet what it will be. They say it takes about three months for a show to really bed in. The old Hallam FM show took about that. The show we're replacing, The Asylum, took about that.

It's funny because I remember listening to The Asylum early on and thinking it was awful. The difference between that show at the show it became was vast.

On the other hand I think Tim's settled in straight away on breakfast. Kate Lawler came up and chatted to me today. She was jolly nice. In retrospect it's not surprising given that Big Brother was, at that point, a selection process designed to find people who are nice. I think. To be honest I didn't really watch that one much. Anyway, she seemed nice. We chatted about Weight Watchers and Slimming World. The reccomends the latter. I need to sort my weight situation out. I'm eating loads of f#cking sh#t. I can actually feel myself getting fatter.


Bloating the bus.

Post show analysis with the boss. Everyone's reasonably pleased but aware that we're going to improve bits here and there. I feel a lot more relaxed having actually done the first show. I think this is true for everyone. What's required now is a few weeks of momentum and we'll be able to assess things properly.

As predicted this blog has rapidly become out of date I've no idea when I'll actually get time to write up this entry. I'm geniuely bust at the moment. It's a weird feeling.

During the day we're doing various interviews so we can build up a bank of stuff to play out in the future. Today I did an interview with a guy called Oliver Rowe and we tried something a bit different. I explained to him that we were going to only ask him two questions; "Who are you?" and "What do you want?". He agreed to try it out.

I then shouted "WHO ARE YOU?" and "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" at him for about half an hour. It was excruciating to do and ended with him gasping "ah - I can't do this". He then left the mic. As we did the interview via ISDN line it wasn't clear entirely what had happened but we're going to try and edit the results into something worth listening to. I'm quite excited about it.


Tramps and sh#te

The whole thing's over. It went by so fast it's hard to assimilate. We had Jason Burmans from The Loose Change Team on. He was good. A live guest over the phone. Straight after that we had Wil Hodgeson on. He was fantastic. I'm proud of the fact that he was on the first ever show. He was a live guest and I offered him accomodation for the night in my spare room.

After the show we all went for a curry and drank a few beers. It's impossible to evaluate the thing clearly at the moment and frankly it'd be silly to decide how things will work out from here but overall I'm in a good mood. My dream that it'd go badly simply didn't come true.

More than anything else I'm just relieved that the first show is over and out of the way. From here I think it'll be a process of nipping and tucking as we guide it towards the right place. No massive major changes just gentle steering. My brain is scrambled.


Dan The Phlegm guy sends me a nice text.

My nerves keep coming off and on in flashes. I spend the day with family eating nice home cooked food and picking up essentials for the flat. Unfortunately I don't yet have an internet connection so as a consequence I'll probably end up getting behind with the blog. Already I'm getting a much higher level of traffic to this place but at the same time I'm determined to keep to the ethic of the thing. A post a day. I've been doing it for years. I'm f#cked if I'm going to compromise that. As a result people who click through to here from the Kerrang site will just have to put up with old out of date posts as I try to catch up.

It's strange going from a period of relative inactivity to one where I'm genuinely busy. We're aiming for a quota of three interviews a night on the new show and as a result loads of my time is spent either recording or preparing for them.

Also I'm writing and recording a few sketches and a bit of nonsense here and there as well as getting back on top of the papers. I've been a whole year almost without really giving a sh#t about the world. Now I'm preparing to re-engage with the whole thing.

A large part of me just wants to get tomorrow night over and done with. Lets get rolling. Get all the "wahh - it's not The Asylum" sh#t out of the way.


Piano blumes into the night. Kiss the sounds as they leave your mind.

Spend the first half of the day f#cking about doing boring stuff like securing my inventory for my new flat and making sure the water board have my details. Then we head over to Manchester for a mate's birthday party. It's reasonably uneventful, largely because my mind is locked into the fact that I start doing a national radio show on Monday. It's hard to engage with people when I'm like this. It reminds me a little of how I became when I was doing the phone in on Hallam FM. There was a point when I only really spoke to a very small group of people. Not as part of any sort of plan but simply because I couldn't focus on conversations. Writing this out now makes me worry a bit.

It's the nerves though.

I spot a guy at the bar who looks exactly like my mate Dave Henning. In my confusion I text him and tell him. He replies with "Yeah, it was me I just ignored you."

"Thought so, you c#nt" I reply.

"Ha ha. F#cking love you man. When does the big show start?"

I get solidly drunk on Pear Cider and then talk nonsense to my girlfriend.


Scrunch (Friday)

One of my new collegues Johnny Doom tells me that I wasn't hallucinating last night. There really is a giant f#cking eye which watches over Birmingham. "Some crazy f#cking illuminati sh#t right?" he jokes.

My final weekend before "The Big Show" begins. All the early signs are good. I like the two people who will be working with me. I like Birmingham and I like Kerrang. The only concern is that I'm f#cking sh#tting my pants. Other than that I'm fine.

I go to sleep with these thoughts and then have a dream where I'm offered a straight up phone in show like the old one on Hallam FM or the chance to try and make this new show on Kerrang work. In the dream I decide to stay in my comfort zone and do the old style phone in show but as soon as the decision is made I regret it. I spend the rest of the night wandering about in dream world regretting my haste and lack of courage.

Previously I've had a dream where I do the first show and the whole thing is a massive f#cking disaster! I mean really bad. Someone tells me that's good because 'what happens in dreams rarely takes place in real life'.

Nerves are good though right?


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