Grr - I'm really annoyed - I've got an Audi - Grr!

Pulling into a car park at a pub and someone's coming the other way. They're in a big red audi. They are clearly loving it. I've made the mistake of thinking that they might want to reverse to let me in via what is, after all, the entrance. No such luck, the driver seems to think it'd make more sense for me to back out onto the main road and take my chances. A face off ensues. It's late so I can't see the driver of the vehicle but there's no way I'm pulling back onto a main road.

In the end the driver reverses a little and we both pull up alongside each other. The driver's face is contorted with rage. I'd be scared if she didn't look like a middle aged primary school teacher. I don't know what possessed me but I decided to pull my frog face. A look of confusion breaks her anger briefly then she drives off apoplectic.

I've mused on this before here but, seriously, what is it about Audi's that makes their drivers such twunts? There's no way that silly woman would have been so annoyed if she wasn't sat in that car.


On the train and there's some cool dudes, probably coming back from a trendy all night rave or something, sat on the carriage. Actually, they're more slumped than sat. Their long skinny jean clothed legs are trailing over the gangway, one of their mobiles keeps jumping into song every now and then with some obnoxious s--- song that the uber dudes were probably the only people to know about. Part of me is annoyed by them because they do seem quite cool and I was never that cool when I was their age. At a guess they're about 20-23. Crafted haircuts. Etc.

There's a woman who looked just like the one I described in the incident above, only this one is slightly less assertive. She, like most everyone else on the train, is annoyed by these trendy twerps but is putting up with them.

We arrive in Birmingham Moor Street. They slump to their feet rolling their eyes with the same disdain they looked at the stupid ticket collector who dared ask them for their tickets. 'Duh, like this is so lame' I imagine them thinking. One of them gets off the train as the other two, a slim blonde emo girl and the taller of the two chaps sort of muddle about having a conversation about who should call the taxi. They hold hands and kiss.

The guy on the platform is sparking up a tiny slim rolled cigarette. The train is getting ready to depart. He casually raises his palm to inform the stupid train driver that he can't go just yet. The doors of the train close. The two kids on the train realise they're about to leave their mate behind. The girl slams her hand onto the button to open the door. The bloke on the platform freaks out. The train sets off.

Lovely stuff.

Suddenly all the cool and casual nature has gone. The girl is horrified and the lad looks like he's going to cry. They get off at Birmingham Snow Hill. I find the whole incident amusing. I think I must be a bad person.


Private Eye.

Go and buy a copy of the current issue. It's better than it has been for quite some time. There's an article in there which opposes two sets of Gordon Brown quotes. One lot comes from the Prime minister's secretary who spends quite some time making it clear that our leader does not have time to waste watching silly TV programmes like Question Time. The second is an excerpt from a handwritten letter from Gordon Brown telling a reality TV contestant how saddened the PM is that 'X Factor journey [has] come to an end'. According to the PM 'I always try and watch the X Factor'.


Anonymous said…
Such a sweet sonnet of poetic justice. Hail Eris!
Are getting the train from London Marylebone to Birmingham Snow Hill when commuting? If so, is this because it is cheaper than Euston to New Street? That train is so pigging slow....

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