On the tube last night there was an atmosphere of high jinx. I sometimes quite enjoy it when everyone in London is in the party mood. Some Saturdays are full of positive spirit as I make my way to the LBC studios and if the vibe is right, it’s infectious. Last night was a bit like that. There was a really positive vibe underneath the city.
The mood changed as I got off the tube train at Leicester Square. There was a woman in front of me who, to be fair, had very nice legs. She and her mate were tottering along on their high heels excited about the night out which awaited them. Suddenly some beery geezer bloke stuck his head out of the tube and shouted “whehey ooo! Get ‘em out love! F—king ‘ell!”. His aggressive interruption instantly changed the atmosphere and sent me into a spiral of misanthropic thought patterns. He was totally out of step with the positive vibe. There was an air of menace to proceedings now. The women looked shocked rather than flattered. I shrugged into my MP3 player bubble with a ‘God I hate people’ mantra rattling round my braincloud.
The tube door then closed on his head and broke his nose.
I kid you not.
He’d tried to pull his head in and out of the way of the doors when he heard them moving, without success. The rapid motion of this movement combined with a good solid impact on the back of his head sent the bridge of his nose firmly into the doorway. A little splat of blood landed on the platform. Never before have I witnessed such a neat moment of instant karma. "Arrgh ffuuu**********" came his muffled voice from within the carridge as it trundled off on its way. He was thmuping the door with his fist in anger as well. Oh dear eh? Agressive males wackyness goes wrong.
Happy new year!