How to defend yourself against books about alien abduction.

Sometimes you spot a classic simply by its title. I'm hoping the book I now hold in my hand is an example of one: "How to defend yourself against alien abduction". It only cost £2.50! A priceless gem like this for such a paltry sum? I couldn't believe my luck as I stared at it in the second hand book shop. I'm currently on chapter one: "What on earth is going on?". I'm thoroughly enjoying it so far.

If you want the potted version, from the looks of it, there are nine core methods to avoid alien abduction with:

1. Mental Struggle
2. Physical Struggle
3. Righteous Anger
4. Protective Rage
5. Support From Family Members
6. Intuition
7. Metaphysical Methods
8. Appeal to Spiritual Personages
9. Repellents

I can't wait to find out what repellents will fend off aliens. I'm hoping it'll be smells, like garlic and/or farts. Eat a big curry or some baked beans to ward off the anal probe!

The back of the book carries a ringing endorsement from non other than my old friend Dr Edgar Mitchell "This is a very powerful book [...] does us all a great service".

I look forward to posting a full review of my new purchase on this blog in the near future.


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