Well, he did make Titanic.

Firstly, I've seen better 3D than Avatar. I watched a documentary at the IMAX about Dinosaurs in the sea, it was called Sea Monsters and it was made by National Geographic Channel. I know that doesn't quite fit with all the hype we're being fed about this, James Cameron blockbuster, setting 'a new standard' but there we are.

Secondly, I'm tired of being lectured by pr#cks about things that aren't my fault. Without spoiling the film I'll just give you a quick idea of what it's about. Some evil greedy humans go to a planet called Iraq* which is populated by magical ten foot smurfs. The evil greedy humans are only there to steal oil** from the smurfs. There's your pitch I'll not tell you how it ends, ooh - the suspense!

The problem with the film is it really is as blatant as I'm suggesting. There's even a point where one of the evil humans shouts out, "we're going to have to fight a war on terror, time for some shock and awe". At that point I half expected him to face camera and say to the audience;

"do you see? It's just exactly like Iraq. We're showing you what's happened in Iraq. That's what this film about. It's about Iraq. See all the nice kind smurfs? They're the good kind simple folk of Iraq they are. You evil pigdogs are killing them with your greed! I hate you lot!! You're all a bunch of c###s!!!"

It's ironic that the film was preceeded by an advert designed to tell people with the intelligence of a child about man made global warming:


I notice that the advert missed out the bit where the scientists lie about the himalayan mountains, keep their information to themselves and fall foul of the data protection act. Still, why get bogged down with details?

As I drove away from the cinema with my girlfriend I heard a news report about the real world version of Iraq where a female suicide bomber has blown herself up amidst other Iraqi people during a religious festival. The ten foot smurfs didn't do that sort of thing in James Cameron's version. Perhaps if they had it would have made for a better film, details tend to improve one's argument. Opposing war in such simplistic terms reflects badly on all of us.

It's ironic therefore that not only was the documentary I mentioned in opening better in terms of the 3D effects, it was also much more interesting. It included all sorts of fascinating details about "Sea Monsters" which I'm confident I can rely upon in the real world.


*Joke, it's not called Iraq but it may as well have been.
**Second joke. It's not called oil but I challenge any reader who has seen it to tell me what it was called.


Laird Hex said…
i like your blogs, they are... random and interesting.
I'm tired of being lectured by pricks too. Still, I keep coming back for more.

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