Proof there is no perfect God behind our imperfect design. I've just bitten my bottom lip as I ate a slice of toast. This of course means I can look forward to a good few days of nasty eye watering chomps on my own face as I eat my Weight Watchers meals / Monster Munch*. How can a 'perfect' God have designed my face and forgotten that this food confumption method could potentially produce so much pain without warning?

My only solution to the problem is that 'God' is actually a bit rubbish. He tried his absolute best but every now and then he dropped a couple of balls here and there. My face is one example, the earthquakes caused by plate tectonics are another. I'm sure you can think of more than a few as well.

With that in mind I've decided God just gets carried away with himself sometimes. Look at the universe around us. There are loads of planets in our solar system alone which have no chance of supporting life. Clearly God got all excited made a load of them and then realised he'd forgotten to put oxygen and liquid water on them. I imagine him as a sort of Homer Simpson style deity suddenly gasping "doh!" when he realised his error.

We can see his excitable quality in any of the major religious texts where, once he establishes a psychic link with one of us, he starts off pretty reasonable then the next thing you know he'll be talking absolute nonsense.

I suppose this entry is a protracted exclamation of "curse you God!" as I dry my eyes post lip bite. Still if God really is omnipresent I suspect he'll have a long hard think when he reads my wise words. If he's not omnipresent it'd just be another fact towards my graducally developing thesis that actually he's just a bit rubbish.

Or doesn't exist at all.


*3 weight wathers points per packet.


Have you taken this photo topless- or is that just wishful thinking on my part?

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