Telly visions

I have finally spent £500 on a telly after our old one broke. It’s a 42 inch plasma that’s supposed to be HD ready. Or full HD, I’m not sure. I’d been put off buying a telly last month by a shop assistant who tried to sell me a “gold plated cable” for another £80. “Without this it’ll be rubbish though,” was his argument. It reminded me of the time I decided not to hand over money for a new computer after the bloke trying to flog me it started bumbling on about how I needed to spend £45 on virus software or within minutes of connecting to the internet the machine would be ruined beyond repair. What kind of a product pitch is that?

‘Yes, you can buy this car, but if you don’t give me another £45 by the time you’ve gotten down the bottom of the road it’ll be scrap metal’.

The look on the chap’s face as I called a halt to proceedings with a swift, “we’ll not bother then cheers luv,” was quite a picture. It was as if he wanted to say: “Oh, but err ... come back, I was lying about that last bit”.

My girlfriend gets a little tired of my curt attitude with salesmen but if I’m spending anything over a tenner I get upset if I can smell the sort of substance a bull turns its food into. We had the same problem with one of the TV salesmen we encountered who tried to make the case that HD ready and Full HD are the same thing by saying:

“Well, I could scribble out Full HD and write HD ready on this label if I wanted to” (??)

“Right, well, we’ll not bother then cheers”

“Oh, err, well these are only on offer for a limited time and, uh, they’ll all be more expense soon so...”

“Yeah, great, cheers”

He looked absolutely crestfallen and was pulling at one of the labels forlornly as he muttered about his special offer. I presume the bloke was on commission, which is quite astounding considering his lack of knowledge regarding the product. You could cross out Full HD and write HD ready on that label, but it would be illegal to do so under the trade descriptions act. There is a difference albeit very slight.

In the end I just went into a supermarket, looked at a few of them, (they’d dropped in price) and bought the biggest. My mate told me I’d got the “chav sized” telly. It’s a technical term apparently. My girlfriend thinks it’s best she goes into the kitchen to watch it from there. Despite myself I love it. The playstation looks amazing, GTA has never been so much fun.


PS – My brain has been putting together a list of famous televisions and so far I’ve got: Evil Edna off Willow The Wisp, The Simpson’s telly and the one in the Royal Family.


Laird Hex said…
for your list: tele-tubbys, tele-bots.the view screen in star trek, thats gotta count.

also, as a general rule i tell salesmen to sod off too, its one of the reasons i shop online so much
Dyonn said…
More famous tellies: The Young Ones, Why Don't You, Telly Monster from Sesame Street, Savalas (Maybe those 2 don't count...)
Anonymous said…
You just misunderstood the salesman. What he meant by "I could scribble out Full HD and write HD ready on this label if I wanted to" is that a 1080p TV (Full HD) can play 720p (HD Ready) content at highest possible quality.

OTOH a 720p TV can't play 1080p content at highest quality as the screen doesn't have enough pixels.

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