Saw someone in the park with a rubbish tattoo...

If you were ugly it would be unlikely that people would point it out to you in your general day to day existence. The same principle applies to a rubbish tattoo only more so. If you have one done and it looks rubbish, which most do, no one is going to point it out to you. Everyone will be polite and feign interest. “Ah, that’s nice, where did you get it done? Did it hurt? How much did it cost?” conversation over.

This means that, once the procedure is over, clients of the tattoo industry are dropped into a reality where they’ve got a cool tattoo. Regardless of the truth, they will display their tacky picture to people with growing pride as others think to themselves and whisper to each other, “good god that looks rubbish”. Like pigeons who think they’re peacocks they’ll strut about unaware everyone else thinks they look scabby. Why would anyone want to give them the truth? What good would it do them? That’s why I always compliment people on their new tattoos.

If you are a personal friend of mine and reading my blog just by way of catching up, I do of course think your tattoo is genuinely nice. My compliments in your case were utterly sincere. It’s just everyone else I’m talking about here.



Murray said…
Half Man Half Biscuit - Shit Arm, Bad Tattoo

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