My new polytheism defence...

15 July

I can't help but talk to people who are religious about their beliefs. It's amazing to me that, in theory, there are some of us who really believe all the mad stuff written down in things like the Quran and The Bible. I've not read the former, its just too boring but I have ploughed through the latter in its entirity.

This means I'm able to point Christians in the direction of 'profound spiritual messages' in their religious texts. Or, as other people would call them, blatant contradictions. Such as the fact there are two mutually contradictory lines of descent for Joseph, Jesus's step Dad. Two different creation myths in Genesis and two very different versions of The Ten Commandments. I kid you not!

Google "contradictions in The Bible" to find these and more. Same thing works for the Quran.

Anyway, I'm sat in a taxi and the driver starts talking to me about his God. I explained I didn't believe in that stuff and he asked me if I was Christian. I told him that I wasn't and then an odd idea popped into my head: "I'm a polytheist, I believe that all the Gods exist at once".

He looked confused and told me there was only one God. I said that is exactly the sort of thing Gods do, "they tell their followers there's only one of them". "It's obviously not the case though," I explained, sort of wondering how far I was going to take this, "there's clearly more than one, that's why there are so many religious wars".

I got quite into my explanation here and went on to expand on the idea with the theory that anyone who believes in a God gives that entity power. So Allah certainly exists. He just might not be as honest as you think, given that he's not the only one who claims to have created the world in seven days.

In my enthusiasm for the idea, which isn't my own*, I failed to notice how it was effecting the poor bloke. I think it made more sense to him than it does me and he got a bit upset. When he dropped me off he took my sleeve in his hand and looked me right in the eyes, "but what if all that's true?".

"Err, I dunno ..." came my reply. I realised I was now a little out of my depth. "It's, uh, usually about £7, is that alright?" I asked, trying to change the subject. "What did you say you were?" he asked. "A dickhead who accidentally upsets people," came my internal monologue's reply as I muttered: "a polytheist, it means you religious people are all correct, uh, all at once".

In future I think I'll stick to telling people I'm an atheist.

NM

*It's a mix of occultism and Gnosticism.

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