It's about ten to eight and I'm just about to go through yet more nonsense regarding my £500 chav sized telly which regular readers may remember me purchasing then blogging excessively about in previous entries: CLICK HERE, AND HERE, AND THEN HERE, AND FINALLY HERE
I'm on the phone to the Tesco customer service technical helpline* explaining the situation "I've been told to ring you and arrange for a technician to come out and have a look at my telly. I don't have a receipt so I've been told to get a bank statement, I've got one of them now but apparently I need to arrange for a technician with you because I can't arrange instore."
"What's the problem with your telly?"
"Its got an intermittent fault on it, it's flickering in the top right hand corner."
"Have you tried switching it off and on again?"
"Err, yeah. Obviously yeh."
"Have you tried leaving it on a blank screen for twenty minutes to reset the pixels?"
"Look there's something wrong with my telly, I want it fixed. I've been through all this stuff already I shouldn't need to fanny about with my new telly to get it to work."
"So you've done all the diagnostic checks have you?"
"Yes, can you just send a technician round to pick it up?"
"Well, I'd hardly call it fannying about. So do you have a reciept?"
"I just mean it feels like it's fannying about when this is the third time I've spoken to someone on the helpline and I've been into the store as many times. It's just getting a bit stupid really."
"Well we need to know what sort of fault it is, sir, these checks are more than just a formality. I wouldn't call them fannying about."
"Right, now as regards a receipt, I've got my bank statements from the time after the woman in store told me they were the next best thing."
"I'm sorry sir but that's not something we can help you with."
"You'll have o go to the store and have those authenticated before we can send a technician out to you."
"But ... oh no! You're telling me I've got to drive to the store, again?"
"I'm afraid so sir yes."
"But how do I know that I'm not just going to go back to square one again? I'll be doing diagnostic checks and fannying about for the rest of my life at this rate."
"I'm sorry sir but that's just how it is, a technician will need to see your recepit. The only way round it is for you to validate the receipt in store."
"But, wait a minute, just try to see this from my perspective here, I've been up to that store, it's over 40 minutes away, over three times now** and I keep getting bounced back to you guys..." LONG PAUSE
"Hello? Hello? He's hung up on me!"
My girlfriend chipped in here with the fact it was two minutes past eight. He'd hung up knowing the call centre closed at 8pm. I was stunned. I've not encountered that sort of calculated rudeness in years.
*This may not be its exact title. I've been bounced from helpline to in store customer services so much I've lost track of what's going on to be honest.
**At one point, in store, I rang the helpline and allowed Tesco customer services in store to speak directly to them. They had a little argument about who exactly was supposed to sort these things out, right in front of me on my mobile phone. Madness.
At time of publication (19th Aug) the whole thing is still not sorted.