Garfunkles in Leicester Square: what was I thinking?

The truth of the matter is that I wasn't thinking. I was wandering about in a bit of a daze. I'd just bought a copy of the brilliant occultist Peter J Carroll's latest tome, I'd decided I wanted to have a protein day and I thought, "ooo, I can get a nice 'Big Breakfast' at this place just outside work".

Menu: written by lawyers.
It's menus like this one which work well on the semi-conscious mind state I describe. Notice it says that you get "two rashers of bacon, two juicy pork and leek sausages, two hash browns, a large flat mushroom, fried egg, half a grilled tomato and a generous helping of baked beans".

Object next to the bacon is a rock hard sausage
Now notice that there is in fact only one rasher of bacon and a gnarly old sausage. No hash brown and a table spoon splat of baked beans. You will of course have noticed that there's a little footnote on the menu which explains that this option is only available before 11.30am.

The "other" menu
What I had in fact ordered is described slightly more accurately above on a second menu, aside from the Orwellian title given to it: The "Great Big" British Breakfast. 

It'd be fairer to describe it thus:

A plate of chips with an egg and a rock hard sausage, bit of bacon, tomato, and a shitty mushroom that seems to be composed mostly of cooking oil and dreams. Also comes with bread.
What's annoying about this whole sorry affair is I blame myself for it entirely. Places like this have always been tourist traps. Furthermore, the last time I went in there I sat for half an hour or so without service only to give up and leave for work. This was a few months ago and I remember thinking then;"well, what did you expect?".

I blame this book "The Octavo"
I was genuinely not thinking. I'd just been in Watkins on Cecil Court and had made an exciting purchase, I sat down to read it and only glanced at the menu. Peter J Caroll is by far my favourite living occult author. I'm thinking of uploading part one of an interview I did with him next week for the podcast associated with this blog. His stuff's always good. This is his latest work, published last year. What an idiot I was to think I'd get anything worth eating in "Garfunkles". Meh- how annoying.


Left all the carbs ... two thirds of the meal
With only myself to blame I stumbled out of the tourist trap, like a punter snared by a clip joint, and on to work... a little early today. Things to do. Lets hope it's a good show, I'm in a bad mood.

NM

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