Horrible wan

“It's my belief that history is a wheel.

'Inconstancy is my very essence,' says the wheel. 

'Rise up on my spokes if you like but don't complain when you're cast back down into the depths.'

Good times pass away, but then so do the bad. Mutability is our tragedy, but it's also our hope. The worst of times, like the best, are always passing away."
24 Hour Party People, Tony Wilson


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In my experience life is a strange but constant process of death and rebirth. The death throes of one lifetime leave debris which is then rebuilt into a new life that emerges from the dust and destruction of the last. Even though I'm trying not to I'm already writing in metaphor, it's not possible to speak so generally about living without it. That said, it's a nice tight metaphor; for example, when I left secondary school the concept of me as a school kid died, as a physical reality, and was reborn into me as a student at University.

That particular example was a big one for me. I left home and moved to Essex, my old identity had gone and I was left to reshape who I was in a wholly new environment. Parts of who I was remained constant and other bits got left behind. Only for that to keep happening as I moved into media and so forth.

This process occurs on a smaller scale each day. Wake up with a list of things to do and that night, when you've finished them, you're a slightly different person. You're no longer the person who has a big list of things to do. Death and rebirth, a constant feature of life. Right down to the absurd micro level, the old you before you breathe in and the 'new you' when you brreathe out.

It's in the big life changes though, where the scale of change is more overwhelming, that the process can be seen clearly. It's a weird thing.

Been listening to a little too much Jordan Peterson I think.


NM

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